‘Billboard’
Season 6, Episode 10 - Aired February 13, 2005
When Lois catches the boys vandalizing a billboard for a strip club, they are too afraid to come down from the platform.
Quote from Hal
[The men are all practically drooling as they drive by a billboard for a strip club:]
Lois: Oh, for crying out loud.
Hal: What? I was not! You look great!
Lois: The Paysons Outlet has 48-packs of paper towels for half price. I wish we had more room in this car. I knew we should have put the rack on top. What's wrong with all of you?
Hal: We're just thinking about all those towels, honey. I mean, you're not the only one who loves a bargain. [chuckles]
Quote from Malcolm
Folk Singer: [plays guitar and sings] Where are the heroes who fight for a cause? Who live by the code of their own moral laws? Who stand up to tyrants and fight the police? Like Gandhi and Martin and Bobby and Rosa And Malcolm and Dewey and Reese? And Malcolm and Dewey and Reese.
Quote from Reese
[dream sequence:]
Stripper: Reese? Reese. Hi. I've been wanting to talk to you.
Reese: Really?
Stripper: Yeah, sugar. I had to wait for your brothers to go to sleep. You don't want to share me, do you?
Reese: Everyone's mad at me. Malcolm and Dewey think I'm a jerk.
Stripper: You're not a jerk. You're just little. I think you're cute as a bug. Do you want me to kiss you?
Reese: Uh... yes, ma'am.
[Reese's face is covered in lipstick after she leans forward and kisses him]
Reese: Wow.
Stripper: Damn tootin' wow.
Reese: So, will you take off your giant top?
Stripper: Do you have a giant dollar?
Reese: I'll get a whole bunch if you'll come back again.
Stripper: I'll come back every night if you want.
Reese: You're so great. The girls at school won't even talk to me.
Stripper: Listen, if they're not willing to talk to you or dance on a pole, they're not really your friends. You don't need them. You have me. I'm perfect. I'm the only woman in the world for you, Reese.
Reese: You are?
Stripper: Of course. I'm 60 feet tall. My skin is five inches thick. No matter how creepy and insensitive and thoughtless you are, you can't hurt me.
Reese: That's all I ever wanted. Why aren't all women like you?
Stripper: Well, I'm not real, sugar.
Reese: Oh, yeah.
Stripper: You just dreamed me up as a super-sexy way to face the fact that you're going to live the rest of your life alone.
Reese: But that's not for sure, is it?
Stripper: And you know the saddest part? You're gonna wake up before you can think of anything really good to do with me.
Reese: Wait. We can't just give up on this. Wait. Don't leave me. Don't leave me!
Quote from Hal
Police Commissioner: Get him to Deaconess Diabetic Center right away.
Dewey: Dad! Tell them what's going on! Tell them I'm not-
[Hal sees Lois and Wendy approaching]
Hal: He's fading! Let's go! Let's go!