Lois: Well, I'll see if I can find her. Mother! Telephone!
Ida: Is the border station going to return my rifle? [takes phone] Hello? Yes? Oh, I'm glad to hear you say that. No, I'm fine. I'm here with you-know-who, and she's doing you-know-what. Again. Yeah. [laughs]

Hal: Lois. Oh, Lois. I finally found you. Oh, I missed the baby.
Lois: [imaginary] It's okay. The baby is fine, Hal.
Hal: [to the elderly woman] Honey, I'm the worst husband in the world. I can't believe how terrible I am. Oh I can't believe I made you go through this alone. I wish I could have been there.
Lois: You were there, Hal.
Hal: I was?
Lois: We're a part of each other. Wherever I go, you're there. You are always with me.
Hal: I love you. [kisses the elderly woman] [monitor beeping rapidly]
Lois: Oh, my God, what is that man doing?
Hal: What?
Lois: Get that sicko off of her.
Hal: What? Lois? Are you?
Lois: Someone call the police.

Trey: If the head is completely crowning, it's okay to push. [Lois moans]
Ida: If anyone calls, I'll be at your sister's. [Lois moans] No, don't worry. I'll let myself out.