Abe Kenarban Quotes Page 5 of 5
Quote from Polly in the Middle
Abe: I can't believe she's seeing someone else. She just came right out and said it like it was no big deal. Said she didn't want to be chained down. Chained down. Can you believe it?
Hal: Yeah, I can. But then I've had some time to process it, Abe. You told me twice last night and the day before that when you showed up at work.
Abe: I sense his presence, Hal. His essence lingering. Picture it, Hal. I want you to picture it. Her lips on another man's lips. Not mine. What's wrong with my lips? I wish I knew who it was.
Quote from Standee
Malik: I think it's nice when someone does a little something extra for poker night. I mean, a six ton pile of trash? You really know how to make a guy feel special.
Brian: You know the smell around here actually makes Hal's dip tastes good.
Steve: Man, who dealt me this hand, I'm going to throw it out on the front yard. [laughter]
Hal: Guys, I really don't know what I'm going to do. I mean, if I give up now, what kind of example does that set for my boys?
Trey: Yeah, that's a tough one, Hal. A man keeps chipping away at his authority. The next thing you know, he's not the king of his own massive pile of garbage. [laughter]
Abe: Come on, guys. Hal's suffering. We really should be more sensitive- No, wait, I got one. I see my favorite band out there, A Flock of Seagulls!
Quote from Kitty's Back
Abe: Thanks for a wonderful night. You know what, I'm seriously thinking about dropping by my bank tomorrow, and asking that new teller for some penny rolls.
Hal: Hey, Mr. Hot Stuff. Save some for the other fellas. [both chuckle]
Quote from Kitty's Back
Abe: We need to talk.
Hal: What's going on?
Abe: Give me a second. I'm just so... agitated.
Lois: What's the matter?
Abe: Kitty came over last night.
Lois: Oh, Abe. Would you like some tea or something?
Abe: No, thank you. But I would like some clarification.
Lois: What?
Abe: Did you actually call the woman I love, "creepy" and "evil"?
Quote from Kitty's Back
Lois: Wait a minute. You're mad at me?
Hal: What happened, Abe?
Abe: Kitty and I talked all night long. She told me about everything. Every horrifying detail was covered. And by morning, we decided to try and make a go of it. Stevie's over the moon. The boy needs a mother. And lord knows I need a wife. So, in the future, Lois, I'd appreciate a bit more support and respect for my wife.
Lois: You're mad at me?! What, are you going to pretend that the last two years just didn't happen?
Abe: No, but I don't see the need for you to bring it up when you're not an affected party.
Quote from Kitty's Back
Lois: Abe, how can you be mad at me? I've been there for you, day after day, month after month through all the dinners, and the tearful phone conversations, the parent/teacher conferences for Stevie. For God's sake, Abe. I'm your friend.
Abe: Then I wish you'd start acting like one. And now if you'll excuse me. I have a wedding album I have to tape back together.
Quote from Hal's Dentist
Abe: I want to thank Hal for inviting us all over for a special afternoon game.
Hal: I don't want to be the one to break up the game here. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Trey: If you're implying-
Abe: Gentlemen, gentlemen, no one is implying anything. All I'm saying is it's hard keeping the game together. And despite our differences, I think we can all agree this is nothing like the hidden jack incident of '91.