Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- 501 Vegas
- 502 Watching the Baby
- 503 Goodbye Kitty
- 504 Thanksgiving
- 505 Malcolm Films Reese
- 506 Malcolm's Job
- 507 Christmas Trees
- 508 Block Party
- 509 Dirty Magazine
- 510 Hot Tub
- 511 Ida's Boyfriend
- 512 Softball
- 513 Lois' Sister
- 514 Malcolm Dates a Family
- 515 Reese's Apartment
- 516 Malcolm Visits College
- 517 Polly in the Middle
- 518 Dewey's Special Class
- 519 Experiment
- 520 Victor's Other Family
- 521 Reese Joins the Army: Part 1
- 522 Reese Joins the Army: Part 2
- Season 6
- Season 7
Malcolm in the Middle
As if coping with his dysfunctional family wasn't difficult enough for boy genius Malcolm, his social life is turned upside down when he's sent to the gifted class at school. At home, Malcolm battles with his no-nonsense mother, Lois. Malcolm's father, Hal, is a loving dad who's stuck in a dead-end corporate job. Malcolm is at turns getting into trouble or on the receiving end of it from his cruel older brother, Reese. Both Malcolm and Reese are fond of tormenting their curious younger brother, Dewey. And of course Malcolm's favorite brother, Francis, was sent off to military school.
Starring:
Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Justin Berfield, Erik Per Sullivan, Craig Lamar Traylor, David Anthony Higgins.
Recurring Actors:
Emy Coligado, Cloris Leachman, Gary Anthony Williams, Daniel von Bargen, Chris Eigeman, Kenneth Mars, Meagen Fay, Evan Matthew Cohen, Kyle Sullivan, Tania Raymonde, Hayden Panettiere.
Original Run: 2000-2006.
Quote of the Day
Lois: Thought you might be ready for some aspirin.
Francis: I'm working for a moron.
Lois: Of course you are, honey. Your boss is an idiot, your coworkers are incompetent, and you are underappreciated. Welcome to the working world.
Francis: How do people do it?
Lois: Well, let's see... If you want to eat, sleep indoors, you know, those kinds of luxuries, you really don't have much of a choice.
Francis: What about Dad? He had a choice.
Lois: Every 20 years, you're allowed a two-week breakdown.
Francis: Oh, I can't wait.
Popular Quotes
Hal: I have Kobe beef.
Reese: No way.
Hal: Yes!
Reese: That's like $60 an ounce.
Hal: I know. I won it in a Minesweeper tournament at work. Years of practicing eight hours a day has finally paid off.
Quote from Dewey in Goodbye Kitty
Dewey: Mom, I have a proposal for you. Now, before you start poking holes in it, I'd like you to hear me out. All I want is no more school and no more big boy clothes. I'd liked to be bathed and rocked before I go to sleep and have all my food mashed up. In return, I'll be adorable and...
Lois: Are you wearing a diaper?
Dewey: I want you to know my level of commitment. [clenches face]
Lois: [o.s.] Oh, my God!
Quote from Reese in Baby: Part 2
Fran: When your milk duct is blocked, it's called mastitis. It's important that you let your baby suck the obstruction out of the breast, and don't be alarmed if the baby then vomits up a cottage cheese-type substance. Now, join me over here...
Dewey: Like I needed another reason to hate cottage cheese.
Reese: I've been kind of zoning in and out here, but did she just say milk comes out of those things?
Malcolm: Reese, that's what they're for.
Reese: My God! Women are the cows of people!