Kevin Dorfman: [on video] Hello, my name is Kevin Dorfman, and this is what they call a video will. Um, which means, sadly, if you're watching this, I am deceased. Unless you're me, and I am watching it to see how I look. Or I might have put it in the wrong case and lent it to you by accident. That's also a possibility. Or maybe you're Phil, the technician at the production company who's editing this video. Or Phil is sick, possibly, and you're his assistant Craig. No, not Craig. Greg. I remember now. Craig left two years ago.
Natalie: Should I fast-forward?
Adrian Monk: No, let it play.
Kevin Dorfman: Greg, I'm sorry for screwing up your name like that. Craig went back to school to get his real estate license. No, it wasn't real estate. But it was a license. What other licenses are there? Is it licenses, or licensees?

Lieutenant Disher: Where do you live, Kevin?
Kevin Dorfman: I live upstairs.
Lieutenant Disher: Did you hear or see anything early this morning, say around 5:30?
Kevin Dorfman: No, sir, I did not. I was, you know, with someone.
Lieutenant Disher: Your girlfriend?
Kevin Dorfman: I guess so. Holy Toledo, I have a girlfriend.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, we're gonna need to question her too. How long have you lived upstairs?
Kevin Dorfman: Seven months. Before that, let's see, I lived at 12 Grant Street. Before that, 17 Minton Street with my sister until she moved to Baltimore because she had to take a new job.
Lieutenant Disher: Great. Thank you.
Kevin Dorfman: Before that, I lived at 34 Warren Place for two years. Before that, I lived at 8 Todd Road and 45 Radcliffe Street, consecutively. My first place, though, on 26 Armory Lane, that was a studio. But what I did was... You might want to write this down on a separate page for yourself. I put the bed up on a loft to create some space.

Lou Dorfman: He was the nicest kid I ever knew. I mean, last summer after the hurricane, he came over and cleaned out all my gutters. Except for the garage. But we didn't have gutters in the garage. We have them now. [chuckles] We didn't have them then. I put them in three weeks ago. Yeah, actually, I had to redo the whole roof.