‘Wait For It...’
Season 3, Episode 1 - Aired September 24, 2007
Months after breaking up with Robin Ted isn't ready to date, until Robin returns to New York City with a boyfriend.
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, there's more than one story of how I met your mother. You know the short version, the thing with your mom's yellow umbrella. But there's a bigger story. The story of how I became who I had to become before I could meet her. And that story begins here.
Quote from Ted
[At Marshall and Lily's wedding in 2007:]
Ted: I don't know. Robin and I broke up two weeks ago. I'm... I'm not ready.
Barney: When will you be ready?
Future Ted: [v.o.] It was a good question. After a big relationship ends, you need some time to recuperate. Robin took a trip to Argentina, and I went through my usual routine. I grew my breakup beard.
[Ted is in his bathroom as Barney bursts in:]
Barney: Ted Mosby, suit up, 'cause here's the plan. There's a Miss Nassau County pageant. We'll pretend to be judges and, yes, our votes are for sale.
Ted: I'm not ready.
[Ted paints a wall as Barney bursts in:]
Future Ted: I repainted the apartment.
Barney: Finish line of a woman 10K. Salty girls on an endorphin high who just want to lie down. Yeah.
Ted: I'm not ready.
[The gang, minus Robin, are MacLaren's:]
Future Ted: And the truth is, I was doing really good.
Barney: Female acrobats from Montreal. Super flexible. We're going to get "Cirque de So-Laid". What up?
Ted: Barney, come on, we've covered this. I'm not-
Lily: Robin!
Robin: Hey, guys. I just got in last night. Um, uh, this is Gael.
Gael: Hola.
Ted: Okay, I'm ready.
Quote from Barney
Ted: And, oh, he is a masseuse.
[flashback to earlier at MacLaren's:]
Gael: With a massage everything is connected. I can touch your foot cleanse your kidney. I can touch your earlobe and slow your heartbeat.
Ted: One time I used warm water to make a guy pee. Of course, I didn't make a career out of it.
Gael: Career? Such an American idea. My career is living. Windsurfing. Making love. Sometimes at the same time.
Barney: How? How would one do that exactly? Seriously, don't giggle. Tell me.
Quote from Lily
Ted: All right, you suited up, I bearded down. Let's get out there and win this thing.
Barney: Yes!
Ted: You guys, have fun of your double date.
Lily: Oh, for the hundredth time, I'm sorry, there was a lull.
[flashback to earlier at MacLaren's:]
Gael: And then we fell asleep on the beach while counting the stars.
Lily: Do you want to have diner with me? Uh, us?
[back:]
Marshall: There was no lull. You just think he's incredibly hot.
Lily: No, I don't! ... Not incredibly. It's a little hard to believe how hot is he. But I mean, she isn't serious about him. The girl never marries the hot guy.
Marshall: Well, you did.
Lily: I'm one of the lucky few.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Lily, Ted is our best friend, so let's get something straight: Male Gayle is not hot. He's not our friend. Don't even look at him. Just... no eye contact.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] So that night, as Lily and Marshall did their best to hate Gael, Robin pulled me aside to check in. Now, I'm sure, she meant the best, but she said the worst.
Robin: I just want to make sure you're okay with this.
[later, at MacLaren's:]
Ted: "I just want to make sure you're okay with this"? Damn it! I can't believe she's the one that gets to say that. She's winning, isn't she?
Barney: Hum-hum. Not for long. Okay, pep talk. Take a knee. Ted, tonight, we're going to get you someone way hotter than Robin. Okay, Robin's a ten. Fine, we'll get you a 12. Or, you know, two sixes. Failing that, four threes. And break glass in case of emergency we'll go the Staten Island, I'll get you 12 ones. Ted, my boy, I'm going to re-teach you... Ah. [Ted is kissing a girl]
Amy: Amy.
Ted: Ted. [They kiss again]
Barney: Barney.
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Weird? Why would it be weird? Because you used to date our best friend or because my wife thinks your new boyfriend is incredibly hot?
Lily: I do not! Shut up! Oh, my God!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Let's bail, this place is dead.
Ted: [sarcastically] Yeah, you're right. We're both totally striking out.
Barney: Yes, exactly, plus, we're on a tight schedule. I've got the entire evening perfectly planned out... Spoiler alert: Our last stop is an after hours club so after hours, it's three days from now. What up?
Ted: Are you blind? I'm making out with a 12. I am winning.
Barney: Yeah. But I didn't get to help.
Ted: So you're saying you want me to throw away a super hot girl just because you didn't help me get her?
Barney: Apology accepted. Let's go.
Quote from Barney
Amy: Who's the suit?
Ted: Hum. This is Barney. Barney, Amy.
Barney: I'm not gonna remember that. Now, if you'll excuse me, random chick from earlier tonight, as you shall henceforth be known. Ted and I have a schedule to keep.
Amy: Oh, well. You can check out off "08:54, dress up like a dork and bother the cool kids." Beat it, nerd.
Barney: Wow. Wow. Great stuff, Tommy Lee. See what you don't understand is, I'm Ted wingman. It's a sacred bond, much stronger than any... They're making out again!
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Lily, we are Ted's best friends. Our job is to hate that guy.
Lily: Oh, yeah, that's what I was doing. I was building him up so few minutes later, I could totally cut him down.
Marshall: Weren't you wearing a bra?