[flashback to Ted and Marshall going to Barney's apartment in 2009:]
Ted: Oh. You're back from decoupage.
Barney: [naked, dripping with sweat] What's decoupage? Oh, uh, yeah, I took that cab there that one time. Hold on. [returns suited-up] Come on in.
Ted: We were hoping we could watch the trilogy here.
Barney: Uh, sure. But, uh... first go look out my, uh, bedroom window. There's a, uh... naked lady, uh... jumping up and down on a mini-trampoline in the apartment across the, uh... street.
Robin: [in Storm Trooper costume][ Get me out of this thing!
Barney: There's no time!
Robin: Barney, I am not ready for them to find out about us.
Barney: Then you're gonna have to stay in there for the entire trilogy. Don't worry. It's only 382 minutes.
Robin: Nerd!

[flashback to 2009:]
Ted: So, where do you guys think we'll be in three years? It'll be 2012.
Barney: That's an easy one.
[fantasy scene of 2012:]
Barney: Guys, this is Sophia. You'll be seeing a lot more of...
[in 2009, a lamp smashes in Barney's apartment:]
Marshall: Okay, that is so weird. I was just trying to use the force. Do you think instead of making a beer fly out of the fridge, I made that lamp break?
Ted: Either that or the stormtrooper did it.
Barney: [laughs] Oh, the stormtrooper would never do that. He knows that lamp costs $1,200.

[flashback to 2009:]
Barney: Anyway, while it's just us guys, We've all had that same fantasy about having sex with a girl in a stormtrooper costume, right?
Ted: Mmm, no.
Marshall: Never.
Barney: Guys, come on, no girls around, just us bros. Safe space. Let's stop being polite and start gettin' real. Stormtrooper fantasy. Every guy's had that one, right?
Ted: Not even once, no.
Marshall: No, no, no.
Barney: So I'm the weird one?
Both: Yeah.
[The Stormtrooper nods]

[flashback to 2009:]
Marshall: How about you, Ted? How's your life gonna be different in three years?
Ted: Oh, you know, the usual. Gonna meet a nice girl and get married. I mean, I know I say that every year, but... let's be honest, in 2012, I'll be 34. If it still hasn't happened for me by then, something is seriously wrong with me!
All: [laugh]
[present:]
Ted: Something is seriously wrong with me.

Ted: I can't do this anymore. I can't keep smiling and being optimistic all the time when all the evidence points to the contrary.
Marshall: You really think that three years from now things aren't gonna be awesome?
Ted: I'll tell you what things are gonna be like three years from now.
[fantasy scene, in 2015 a balding Ted is on the phone in his apartment surrounded by newspapers and tins:]
Ted: Uh, yes, hello. I see on my frozen entree for one they printed this number where I can voice comments and concerns. Well, there's more cinnamon in the cobbler than usual. No, I like cinnamon. Oh, you're very welcome
for my comment. Wait! Uh, don't go. Um... do you like cinnamon? Hello? Hello?

[fantasy scene in 2015, a balding Ted phones Marshall from his cluttered apartment:]
Ted: Marshall, you want to watch Star Wars?
Marshall: No, can do, old bean! You see, we're up on the Cape living the idyllic family lifestyle that you've always dreamed of.
Lily: Oh, and I'm pregnant with baby #5!
Ted: But baby #4 isn't even out yet.
Marshall: I'm just that good! Oh, oh, hold on. There's somebody wants to say hello to you.
Robin: Hey, Ted. I just wanted to say that things are great, and I'm married to that douchey guy in the trucker hat.
Trey: Whassup, bra?
Robin: It turns out it was just you I didn't want to commit to. Oh, and I got back boobs. So things are great! Buh-bye!

[fantasy scene in 2015, a balding Ted is surrounded by newspapers and tins in his cluttered apartment:]
Barney: By the way, Ted, this is Melanie. You'll be seeing a lot more of Melanie.
[reality:]
Barney: Wait-wait- Wait a minute! Who is Melanie?
Ted: Come on, Barney, if there's one thing I can count on not to change, it's you walking in with some random girl on your arm.
Barney: No. No, I don't want that. For the first time in my life, I don't want to find myself in three years with some random girl, no matter how many boobs she has. I want to be with Quinn. Guys, you're gonna be seeing
a lot more of Quinn.
Marshall: Dude, we've been to the Lusty Leopard. We've seen plenty.
Barney: I kind of walked into that one. All right, bye-bye.

Quinn: What are you doing?
Barney: We're living together, I'm excited about it, and I'm getting rid of my mugs. [smashes mug]
Quinn: That was mine.
Barney: Sorry. I don't know which are which. Truth is, I never drink coffee at home. This one?
Quinn: Mm-hmm.
Barney: [smashes mug] There! I don't need my coffee mugs 'cause I got yours! For the rest of my life. Or as... long as you'll have me. We haven't really talked about the future. Did I make things awkward?
Quinn: Just keep smashing mugs. Or donate them.
Barney: Point is, I plan on being with you for a long time. You okay with that?
Quinn: [smashes mug] Sounds great.

Barney: Ooh.. Oh! I am so sorry.
Quinn: No, no, it's great. A guy has to be the first one to let 'er rip. I was actually hoping this would happen soon. I've been crop-dusting the patio for weeks.
Barney: The patio! I've been going out on the street, like, exactly this time every night.
[across the street:]
Chester: Where are you, blond man?! Show yourself!
Woman: I will be at my mother's.