Lily: You said, "No-can-do's-ville, babydoll"?
Marshall: You actually used Jed Mosley's catchphrase?
Ted: I know. I was just so upset that... How do you know that's his catchphrase?
Robin: You said it was his catchphrase.
Marshall: They dragged me to it. I didn't wanna go. I wanted to see Avatar again.

Future Ted: [v.o.] All right, that's it. I'm just gonna move to some country where no one's seen The Wedding Bride.
Robin: Good luck, Ted. That movie is worldwide. It's huge.
Lily: Maybe North Korea.
Robin: Nope. I read that Kim Jong II said it was his second favorite movie of all time. Right behind a movie of him riding a horse in slow motion through a field of turnips.

Lily: Sorry, Ted. You're screwed.
Marshall: No. You know what? No, Ted is not screwed. All right, do you guys wanna know why I'm nice to everyone? It's because I don't care about baggage. I mean, most people, they see another person walking down the street with that big heavy bag they're carrying, and they just walk on by. But not me. I look at them, and I say... I say, " Howdy, stranger. Can I give you a hand with that?" And you know who taught me to be that way? A guy called Ted Mosby. A guy who's uncynical and sincere and believed in things. And you know what, Ted? I believe that deep down, you're still that guy.
Ted: I am still that guy.
Marshall: I think you wanna go out there and get that girl.
Ted: I do wanna go out there and get that girl.
Marshall: Because she's the love of your life!
Ted: Because she's... Well, okay, let's... We're three dates in. She seems nice.
Marshall: Because she seems nice!
Ted: She does seem nice! You're right, Marshall. I gotta go get her. And I know exactly where she is.

[As Ted arrives at the movie theater where Royce is watching The Wedding Bride again:]
Priest: Do you, Stella, take Jed Mosley to be your lawfully-wedded husband?
Stella: I...
Ted: Royce?
Tony: Stella?
Royce: Ted?
Stella: Tony?
Jed Mosley: Tony?
Barney: Ted?
Ted: Barney?
Barney: [slurps]

[As Ted interrupts the showing of The Wedding Bride:]
Ted: Something I need to say.
Tony: Look, there's something I need to say.
Ted: A long time ago...
Tony: A long time ago,
Ted: I let a horrible girl named Stella...
Tony: I let this beautiful girl named Stella...
Ted: break my heart.
Tony: get away.
Ted: And now she's with some jerk...
Tony: And now she's with this jerk
Ted: who wrote a movie about it and...
Tony: who doesn't appreciate what he has in this beautiful, wedding bride.
Ted: ...that movie is called The Wedding Bride.

[As Ted interrupts the showing of The Wedding Bride:]
Royce: What are you saying?
Jed Mosley: You can't talk to me like that. I'm Jed Mosley!
Ted: I'm Jed Mosley. But, Royce...
Tony: This girl in the white wedding dress...
Ted: This doofus in the red cowboy boots, this isn't me.
Tony: This isn't you.
Barney: So, just to be clear, are you saying that you don't have a pair of red cowboy boots in your closet?
Ted: Barney, what...
Barney: Well, I just wanted... I mean, that's... Everyone wants to know.
Ted: They're actually more of a burgundy.

[As Ted interrupts the showing of The Wedding Bride:]
Ted: Royce...
Tony: Stella, I promised to make you my wife.
Ted: I promised to make you some pancakes.
Tony: And I'd like to live up to that promise.
Ted: And I'd like to live up to that promise.
Stella: Tony, all I've wanted all my life...
Royce: Ted, all I've wanted all week...
Stella: Was your love.
Royce: Was some pancakes.

[As Ted interrupts the showing of The Wedding Bride:]
Tony: Stella, if you still truly love me...
Ted: Royce, if you still kind of like me...
Tony: ... can you let me make you my wedding bride?
Ted: ...can you let me make you some pancakes?
Royce: Can-do's-ville, babydoll.
Stella: Can-do's-ville, babydoll.

Ted: Hey, that stuff that happened to me, it was pretty rough. I'm still getting over it.
Royce: Let me help you with that.
[Ted imagines Royce picking up the large trunk which reads "Left at the altar" and carrying it with him]
Future Ted: [v.o.] And just like that, kids, my baggage didn't seem quite so heavy anymore. You see, everyone's got some baggage. It's part of life. But like anything else, it's easier when someone gives you a hand with it.

Ted: Wow, it feels so good to have told you all that stuff about me. I'm really glad I can open up to you.
Royce: Ted, it's not that big of a deal. Heck, I've been left at the altar. [suitcase appears] Three times. [two more] The last time was because I blew all our money on online poker. [another suitcase] That's why I live with my brother now.
Ted: Wait, I thought you said you had a tiny studio apartment.
Royce: Yup, just the two of us. You should see how he hogs the covers.
Ted: Yeah, you gotta go.