‘The Stinson Missile Crisis’
Season 7, Episode 4 - Aired October 3, 2011
In a court-mandated therapy session, Robin tells the tale of how she helped Barney give up all his tricks to attract women. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily feel Ted is getting too involved in their pregnancy.
Quote from Robin
Robin: So, I suppose now you want me to talk about how it felt watching Barney and Nora walk off together, right?
Kevin: I'd rather just skip ahead to the assault. My next patient thinks he's God. On the off chance that he's right, I really don't want to keep him waiting.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Well, right after they left, something crazy happened.
[flashback to Robin alone at MacLaren's:]
Woman: Excuse me, do you know where I can find Barney Stinson? He saw me on the subway and left me a message to meet him here. He asked me if I believed in destiny. And I do. We are so meant to be. Where can I find him?
[present:]
Robin: So I was faced with a moral dilemma. Unleash this nut bag on them or be a bigger person, and help my friend.
[flashback:]
Robin: Barney's at Café L'Amour, 75th and Amsterdam.
Woman: Awesome!
Robin: No, wait, wait, wait! Okay, this isn't right. Let's pop that top button, show off your gals. Ooh! Good luck, go get 'em!
Quote from Ted
Ted: I feel terrible we didn't listen to what Lily wanted!
Marshall: I know, so do I.
Ted: The truth is, I thought I'd be married by now and going through all this stuff alongside you guys. But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second, I'm still one night and nine months away from having a family of my own. And that's assuming the mother of my children is just a huge slut.
Marshall: Don't lose hope, Ted. That slut is out there.
Quote from Robin
Robin: What happened to your sock?
Ted: Long story. Bottom line, I realized that sometimes love means taking a step back.
Robin: Well, not always. I mean, sometimes it's better to interfere and sabotage stuff, right?
Ted: Well, I think if you care about somebody, you should want them to be happy, even if you wind up being left out.
Robin: Wow. The lesson you learned with Lily and Marshall is directly applicable to my situation, and is therefore a valid part of how I'll eventually tell this story.
[present:]
Kevin: Really? That's how that went down?
Robin: Point is, it all tied together, right?
Kevin: Not really at all.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Barney doesn't know a thing about any of this. But that's why I got court-mandated therapy. You must think I'm nuts.
Kevin: I think you're a really good friend.
Robin: Really?
Kevin: Really. As far as I'm concerned, there was no criminal intent to this assault.
Robin: Well, thanks, Doc! Well, look at us! We got this wrapped up in one session. Go us, right?
Kevin: Now let's discuss how you keyed the judge's car.
Robin: Okay. Um... Here's how it happened: Marshall and Lily were supposed to go to the zoo. Okay, it all ties together, I swear. Now...