Barney: Oh, guh! Hurricane dookied in her drawers. Ha-ha! Poopy pants!
Lily: She needs a new diaper.
Barney: Right. Where do you keep your diapers?
Lily: We don't have any.
Barney: You don't... Wow. Okay. [scoffs] I guess I'll go buy some. You're gonna be a mom and you don't have any diapers? Lord, watch over that child.

Marshall: If you don't mind me asking... what is this all about? I mean, you are one of the most strong, independent, non-locking-themselves-in-a-bathroom-on-Thanksgiving people I know. Why... Why are you so upset about us moving?
Robin: Maybe I just need you guys more than you think.
Marshall: Is this about more than us moving?
Robin: This is good cheese.
Marshall: Robin?
Robin: Yeah?
Marshall: Do you think I should've become a Ghostbuster?
Robin: I think you made the right call, buddy.

Lily: Okay, Ted, I'm not gonna ask you where Barney got this baby. But do you have any idea why?
Ted: Well, a few nights ago, we were talking... You know, "We hate girls, we wish we were gay," just guy stuff. And we kind of sort of decided to adopt a baby.
Lily: Yeah, that's crazy.
Ted: I know. Is it, though?
Lily: Yes.
Ted: I know. But is it, though?
Lily: Yes.
Ted: Well, so what if it's crazy? I've been ready to meet someone to start a family with for a long time now,
and I keep not meeting her. Barney is one of my best friends in the world, we rarely fight, and once we iron out the whole pet cobra thing, we will be amazing dads. Why shouldn't we try this?
Lily: When's the last time you fed her?
Ted: She had some root beer on the train.
Lily: Oh, Ted.

Lily: And I'm sorry, but you cannot call a baby Hurricane.
James: Actually, her name is Sadie.
Lily: James, what are you doing here?
James: Did Barney not tell you that we were coming for Thanksgiving?
Lily: Uh, no.
James: Then he probably also did not tell you that he was babysitting our new daughter.
Lily: This is your daughter? Oh, thank God. And congratulations.

Barney: All right, you got me. James is my baby guy. But these past three hours... magical, right? We can do this! Say we can do this.
Ted: We can't do this. Sorry, dude. We got to wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.
Barney: It gets pretty tough.
Ted: I know it does, buddy.

Barney: Hi.
Robin: Hey.
Barney: Are we still friends?
Robin: Hope so.
Barney: Good. 'Cause get this. Ted almost adopted a baby. Crazy, right? Poor guy's going through some stuff. He actually tried to rope me into it. Can you imagine me being someone's dad?
Robin: I'm pregnant.