Ted: How about a provision barring any nudist German ex-fiancés from slapping his strudel up and down your sofa?
Victoria: How about pretending to be a hero, but then caving the moment a ferret bite breaks the skin?
Ted: The skin of my eyelid.
Victoria: That's how they kiss.

Arthur: Enough! Enough! You all have someone who loves you, and you're screwing it up, and over what? Who has the most power? That's not love. Love is trusting someone enough to tell them what's really bothering you. So that's what we're gonna do. You, start.
Marshall: When you got scared about Marvin, it felt like you were saying that I'm not as good a parent as you. You're an amazing mom, and I want to live up to that.
Lily: Well, I probably have trust issues because my dad wasn't there for me. But I know that you'll always be there to catch Marvin.

Arthur: You, next.
Ted: Having Klaus back in our lives made me scared we're never gonna escape the past.
Victoria: I only wanted to help Klaus because I feel guilty about how happy I am with you.

Arthur: Next.
Nick: I find you so sexy, it just hurt that you don't feel the same about me.
Robin: I get turned on watching myself do the news during sex.
Nick: Oh. Well, that's cool.

Arthur: Look at that, no legal documents needed. Just honesty and vulnerability. That's love. You see, I once loved someone, only I didn't say it enough. Now I wish I could say it every day. Hell, I don't care if it's crazy, I-I'm doing it. Hello, Darlene? Put Tugboat on the line. Hey, buddy. Hey, it's the man.

Future Ted: [v.o.] And for a moment, all felt right with the world. But that very night, the Autumn of Breakups would claim its first victims.

Quinn: After you, sir.
Barney: Ladies first.
Quinn: I insist.
Barney: I insist.
Quinn: I'm not throwing mine out first.
Barney: I'm not throwing mine out first.
Quinn: You've slept with half the women in New York. I'm the one who needs a prenup.
Barney: You duped me out of thousands of dollars. I'm the one who needs a prenup.
Quinn: I just thought of some more stuff to add.
Barney: I'm not half finished.

Barney: Let's dive in.
Quinn: It should be simpler than this, shouldn't it?
Barney: Yeah. Maybe it should be.
Quinn: Barney, do you trust me?
Barney: [scoffs] No. Do you trust me?
Quinn: No. If we really need something this complicated to get married...
Barney: Yeah.

Marshall: I'm sorry, buddy.
Ted: Hey, there's always wives two through eight. They sounded pretty hot in your fantasy.
Barney: All but wife seven. She was just there 'cause her dad was rich.