‘The Possimpible’
Season 4, Episode 14 - Aired February 2, 2009
When Robin is threatened with deportation unless she finds another job in seven days, Barney helps her create a video resume. Meanwhile, Marshall, Lily and Ted bicker about the irrelevant things on their resumes.
Quote from Robin
Robin: I'm screwed. I've been sending out my reel for three months, and nothing.
Ted: Well, maybe there's something in your reel that people aren't responding to. Let's take a look at it, right?
Robin: [on tape, in a snowstorm] That's a good question, Norm.
Robin: The first thing is from when I was a cub reporter for Channel 22 in Red Deer. In Alberta. In Canada.
All: Oh.
Marshall: Canada.
Barney: Right.
Robin: [on tape] Well, the snow's coming down pretty hard, but these intrepid fishermen are still happy to be out competing in Lake Athabasca's Bass Fishing Jamboree, an August 1st tradition. Back to you, Norm.
Robin: What? That was my first job. It shows where I came from.
Barney: Unless a bear attacks you in the next three seconds and you snap its neck with your legs, that has no business being on your reel.
Quote from Barney
Barney: So, what does being a reporter mean to you?
Robin: Well, ever since I was a little kid, I always...
Barney: Cut! Robin, you're getting bogged down in specifics. I need you to just say vague, confident-sounding buzzwords, like "synergy" and "dynamism." You can make up a word, like... "linkativity."
Robin: How will sounding like an idiot get me hired anywhere?
Barney: Okay, fine. Don't do it. Anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of exciting stories to cover back in Canada. I just read that the mayor of Winnipeg's nephew went ice fishing and caught himself a 16-pound walleye. Reporting live from the worst place in the world, I'm Robin Scherbatsky.
Quote from Barney
Robin: Okay, fine. Roll camera. [clears throat] Connectitude.
Barney: Love it.
Robin: Transformatation.
Barney: Earn it!
Robin: Linkativity.
Barney: Yeah, linkativity's mine.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: I can't believe Metro News One is just forwarding you all this fan mail now.
Robin: I know. I quit like four months ago.
Lily: Wow. You had more fans than I thought.
Ted: And only about 60% of them are prison inmates.
Robin: What are these guys thinking? I am way past my "dating prisoners" phase. It's like, "Hello, I'm not 19 anymore".
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, by the winter of 2009, Robin had been unemployed for months. But there was a glimmer of hope.
Lily: Hey, how'd the audition go?
Robin: Well, I went in there feeling really good. I heard it was just me up against two other girls.
Barney: Listening.
Quote from Robin
[flashback to Robin in the waiting room for her job interview:]
Robin: Hi.
Rochelle Harper: Hi.
Robin: Robin Scherbatsky. And you are?
Rochelle Harper: [laughs] You've obviously never spent any time in Denver. Rochelle Harper, News Center 12. We were only the number-one station in the Rockies for five straight years.
Robin: I was an anchor here in town at Metro News One.
Rochelle Harper: Ooh. An anchor. You must have a killer signoff phrase.
Robin: I'm sorry?
Maria Diaz: You gotta have a killer signoff phrase. Like Walter Cronkite. "And that's the way it is."
Rochelle Harper: So what's yours?
Robin: Well, I would just always end with a simple "From all of us here at Metro News One, have a good evening."
[Rochelle and Maria laugh]
Quote from Barney
Barney: I can't believe you might be kicked out of the country.
Robin: God, I know. My whole life is here.
Ted: No, we won't let this happen. I mean, one of us will help you find a job.
Lily: I bet I can get you something at my school.
Marshall: No, guys, it doesn't work that way. Robin only gets her work visa if she gets a job in her field. I mean, you know what? I guess you could stay if you married a U.S. citizen. [Barney stands up, gets down on one knee behind Robin] Yeah, that could work. Oh, They could never process that and make it official in time. That won't work. [Barney stands up and returns to his seat]
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: No, I get it, I get it. Where you're from is part of who you're selling. For instance, under "special skills"
on my resume, I mention that back in Minnesota, I was the 1995 Nicollet County Slam Dunk Champion.
Ted: You put dunk champion on your resume.
Marshall: Yeah, why wouldn't you? A lot of companies have basketball teams. It's good for them to know that Vanilla Thunder can still take the rock to the hole.
Robin: They called you Vanilla Thunder?
Marshall: Yeah, Vanilla Thunder. The Ghost in the Post. The Human Turnstile. I didn't... play that much D.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: You can't still dunk.
Marshall: Of course I can. Well, I mean I could... until... recently.
Lily: Until the injury.
[flashback to Lily and Marshall in a doctor's office:]
Doctor: It's called iliopsoas tendonitis.
Lily: Yikes, that sounds bad.
Doctor: It's more commonly known as dancer's hip.
[Lily starts laughing. Dr. Goodman joins her]
Marshall: Come on! Iliopsoas tendonitis. That's what it's called. That's all it's called.
[present:]
Marshall: Iliopsoas tendonitis. It's a basketball injury. You know, it's no big whoop.
Lily: Dancer's hip, Marshall has something called dancer's hip.
Marshall: Okay, okay. They only call it that, look, because it's very common with ballet dancers. Oh...
Quote from Lily
Robin: So, tell me, do any of the other little girls in your class have dancer's hip?
Marshall: Yeah, sure.
Ted: I have more of a technical question. Is it easier to dance when you don't have external genitalia?
Marshall: Good, don't build to that... just go right for it.
Lily: Guys, come on. Marshall didn't get this injury from dancing.
Marshall: Thank you, Lily.
Lily: Clearly, the stirrups were set a little too wide during his last trip to the gyno.