Robin: And now, here's Curt "the Iron Man" Irons with sports. Curt? ... Curt?
Curt: Well, the Knicks lost. It's sad, really. They had a real shot. Then, out of nowhere, game over. And why? Why Robin?
Robin: Uh, well, their perimeter shooting has been a little bit off this season...
Curt: The Knicks lost because they were afraid of getting hurt. So they didn't even try. Well, you know what I think? I think the Knicks didn't deserve my love to begin with. Kincks suck! [leaves sobbing]
Robin: And that's sports.

Ted: Wow, I've got to hand it to Wendy the waitress. That was very mature of her.
Barney: She's gonna try to kill me. This is poisoned. [pours drink on floor]
Ted: What? You're being ridiculous.
Barney: Yours is poisoned too. [pours Ted's drink] She's trying to kill me and everyone close to me.
Ted: What are you talking about?
Barney: Ted! Look at the facts. I dump her and she says "No hard feelings". She's a psycho! What other explanation is there?
Ted: Uh, that you're letting yourself believe she's crazy so you don't have to face the far more likely possibility that she doesn't want to date you either?
Barney: Where did Marshall get that hamburger?
Ted: I don't know. I guess Wendy the waitress brought it to him.
Barney: Noooooooo!
[Barney runs, in slow motion, towards Marshall and knocks his hamburger out of his hand]
Marshall: Dude.
Barney: You're welcome.

Robin: Wait a second. You've been sitting here, pretending to be the expert on all this, but the truth is, this was no real fallout from your breakup at all?
Barney: Yet.
Robin: You're an idiot.

Marshall: So what do you mean "it wasn't a date"?
Ted: She thought we were seeing a movie just as friends.
Marshall: Why would she think that?
Robin: Did she see your tattoo and assume you were gay?
Ted: Apparently, there's a rule that says can't date Stella.
Barney: Exactly, the platinum rule. Stella reads my blog.
Ted: No, this rule comes from the American Medical Association. Doctors aren't legally allowed to date their patients.

Future Ted: [v.o.] So that was the end of the story between me and Stella, at least for the time being. But I don't know, looking back on the platinum rule, I think there's a ninth step. We'll call it coexistence. It's the moment you realize that all that anger and resentment just isn't useful.