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How I Met Your Mother: The Perfect Cocktail

‘The Perfect Cocktail’

Season 6, Episode 22 -  Aired May 2, 2011

Barney is offended when Marshall joins Zoey's crusade against the destruction of the Arcadian Hotel, so Robin and Lily try to find the right combination of cocktails to help the friends patch things up. Meanwhile, Ted plans a romantic weekend away with Zoey.

Quote from Marshall

Robin: We need a drink that will start a fight.
[title card: gin]
Barney: Do you know what I had to do to get you that job?
Marshall: Do you know what I had to do to will myself to show up every day?
Barney: What? Wear a wrinkled suit and not give a damn about what your hair looked like?
Marshall: I showed up with wet hair once! Once!

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Quote from Barney

Robin: Okay, now we need to get them something that will make them emotionally vulnerable and completely, pathetically honest.
Lily: Yeah, we need a drink that that takes subtext and turns it into text.
[title card: whiskey]
Marshall: See, ever since the death of my father I have been drawn to the idea of preservation. That's why the Arcadian speaks to me.
Barney: Ever since my father walked out on my childhood, I've had serious abandonment issues. You walking out on me like that...
Marshall: Oh, God, I didn't even think of that.
Barney: It made me wonder what could I have done to make him stay.
Marshall: You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you, Barney.
Barney: That's what everyone keeps saying, but people just keep leaving me! [whimpers]

Quote from Robin

Robin: Wow, that got real o'clock.
Lily: Yeah. We need to get them up and having fun.
[title card: daquiris; Marshall and Barney dance]
Robin: Dance, my puppets, dance.
Lily: Now do you see why I'm always interfering in other people's lives?
Robin: Oh, God. Totally. [Robin stops Lily from having another drink.]

Quote from Robin

Lily: Okay. Final round. What simple act will get the boys to finally forgive each other?
Robin: Sharing a brandy. Which is what I walked into my parents doing once. Brandy was my father's mistress. Parents, right?
Lily: Again, just a whole other thing, sweetie.

Quote from Future Ted

Robin: Where'd they go?
Lily: Oh, no. They did shots.
Robin: What... What is it?
Lily: What's the worst thing they could possibly drink right now?
[title card: tequila; Barney is with a butch woman at MacLaren's:]
Barney: Your place or mi... [burps] Your place or mi... [burps] Let's go to your place.
[Marshall is eating chicken fingers on the floor]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, don't drink tequila.

Quote from Ted

Ted: These were supposed to be for a romantic dinner on our balcony as we were serenaded by the sounds of the ocean. But I guess we'll have to settle for what sounded like two very large men having sex next door with a third very small man.
Zoey: I think that small man sounded very moved by the Arcadian's beauty.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Okay. What is it? And don't give me, "It's beautiful." Don't give me, "It's magnificent." What is it about this place that makes you so passionate to save it?
Zoey: Uh... Well, when I was a little girl, my family used to live here.
Ted: Why- Why have you never told me that?
Zoey: I never tell anyone that. It makes it sound like it would be impossible for me to be objective, but...
The truth is, l... I loved growing up here. We had just moved to New York. We were completely broke. But my mom told my sisters and me that the Arcadian was a castle, and we believed her. I know it's not what it used to be, but this building is a part of who I am. That's why I want so badly for you to like it too.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you never forget the first time, or place you tell a girl...
Ted: I love you.
Zoey: I love you too. [toilet flushes]

Quote from Lily

Carl: Come on in. You're unbanned. I gave these guys some drinks, and they calmed down and made up.
Robin: Well, what drink finally did the trick?
[title card: beer]
Lily: A beer.
Robin: Of course, beer.
Barney: I love you.
Marshall: I love you!

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