Robin: We need a drink that will start a fight.
[title card: gin]
Barney: Do you know what I had to do to get you that job?
Marshall: Do you know what I had to do to will myself to show up every day?
Barney: What? Wear a wrinkled suit and not give a damn about what your hair looked like?
Marshall: I showed up with wet hair once! Once!

Robin: Okay, now we need to get them something that will make them emotionally vulnerable and completely, pathetically honest.
Lily: Yeah, we need a drink that that takes subtext and turns it into text.
[title card: whiskey]
Marshall: See, ever since the death of my father I have been drawn to the idea of preservation. That's why the Arcadian speaks to me.
Barney: Ever since my father walked out on my childhood, I've had serious abandonment issues. You walking out on me like that...
Marshall: Oh, God, I didn't even think of that.
Barney: It made me wonder what could I have done to make him stay.
Marshall: You didn't do anything wrong. It wasn't you, Barney.
Barney: That's what everyone keeps saying, but people just keep leaving me! [whimpers]

Robin: Wow, that got real o'clock.
Lily: Yeah. We need to get them up and having fun.
[title card: daquiris; Marshall and Barney dance]
Robin: Dance, my puppets, dance.
Lily: Now do you see why I'm always interfering in other people's lives?
Robin: Oh, God. Totally. [Robin stops Lily from having another drink.]

Lily: Okay. Final round. What simple act will get the boys to finally forgive each other?
Robin: Sharing a brandy. Which is what I walked into my parents doing once. Brandy was my father's mistress. Parents, right?
Lily: Again, just a whole other thing, sweetie.

Robin: Where'd they go?
Lily: Oh, no. They did shots.
Robin: What... What is it?
Lily: What's the worst thing they could possibly drink right now?
[title card: tequila; Barney is with a butch woman at MacLaren's:]
Barney: Your place or mi... [burps] Your place or mi... [burps] Let's go to your place.
[Marshall is eating chicken fingers on the floor]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, don't drink tequila.

Ted: These were supposed to be for a romantic dinner on our balcony as we were serenaded by the sounds of the ocean. But I guess we'll have to settle for what sounded like two very large men having sex next door with a third very small man.
Zoey: I think that small man sounded very moved by the Arcadian's beauty.

Ted: Okay. What is it? And don't give me, "It's beautiful." Don't give me, "It's magnificent." What is it about this place that makes you so passionate to save it?
Zoey: Uh... Well, when I was a little girl, my family used to live here.
Ted: Why- Why have you never told me that?
Zoey: I never tell anyone that. It makes it sound like it would be impossible for me to be objective, but...
The truth is, l... I loved growing up here. We had just moved to New York. We were completely broke. But my mom told my sisters and me that the Arcadian was a castle, and we believed her. I know it's not what it used to be, but this building is a part of who I am. That's why I want so badly for you to like it too.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you never forget the first time, or place you tell a girl...
Ted: I love you.
Zoey: I love you too. [toilet flushes]

Carl: Come on in. You're unbanned. I gave these guys some drinks, and they calmed down and made up.
Robin: Well, what drink finally did the trick?
[title card: beer]
Lily: A beer.
Robin: Of course, beer.
Barney: I love you.
Marshall: I love you!