Robin: Wait. Marshall's helping you save the Arcadian now?
Zoey: Yeah. Having a former GNB employee on our side is huge for us. GNB is goin' down.
Marshall: Totally.
Ted: So they found water on Mars. What?

Barney: Not only do you quit the job I stuck my neck out to get you, now you sabotage the project I'm in charge of? Is this because I brushed Lily's boob with my elbow the other day?
Lily: That was on purpose!
Marshall: What now?
Barney: This is really crossing the line.

Lily: Can you believe this one? Wants our booth. Keeps giving us the walk-by.
Robin: That bitch is not giving us the walk-by.
Lily: The walk-by with the stink-eye.
Robin: [high-pitched] The stink-eye walk-by? Aw, hell, no! I hope this drink isn't teething, 'cause it's about to get nursed.

Lily: Oh, boy. Look who's back.
Robin: Look, Lily. I think this girl wants our seat. Should we leave or stay here Lionel Richie style... "All Night Long"?
Lily: Excuse me, waitress. I'll have a mojito. And you'll have a no-seat, ho!

Lily: This stupid feud isn't gonna end until Marshall and Barney finally talk about their feelings, cry and then hug it out like they do on Oprah.
Robin: Man, what are we gonna do without her?
Lily: Oh! Oprah.

Robin: If we want them to open up, I say we go straight-up gin.
Lily: Ooh. Last time Marshall got gin drunk... was at that douchey bar Barney likes to go to. Marshall almost got in a fight that night.
[flashback to drunk Marshall in a stand-off with another man:]
Marshall: Look at this meatball. He's headed right towards me, showin' me no respect. Well, if he wants to play chicken, this rooster ain't backin' down! Oh. Mirror.

Robin: How about daiquiris?
Lily: Maybe. When Marshall has daiquiris, he gets really into how beautiful he is.
[flashback to Marshall with the gang at a bar:]
Marshall: Hey. I dare you guys to dare us to make out.
Ted: Hey, Marsh, you know that's another mirror, right?

Ted: Okay, I'm gonna go pick up Zoey, then we're off. See ya Sunday.
Lily: Oh, wait, Ted. Do you have a specific reaction to any kind of alcohol?
Ted: Bourbon. When I drink bourbon, I get weirdly good at beatboxing.
[flashback to Ted at MacLaren's:]
Ted: [beatboxes] Peace. I'm out.
[present:]
Robin: Yeah, Ted, I hate to tell you, but the bourbon only makes it sound good to you.
[flashback:]
Ted: Pa-choo! Pa-choo! Ki-ki-ki-ki, ki-ki-ki-ki! Ka-ka-ka-ka, ka-ka-ka-ka! Koo-koo-koo-koo, koo-koo-koo-koo! Poom! Peace. I'm out.
[present:]
Ted: You had to take that away from me, didn't you?

Ted: Look, I can handle you trying to prevent me from fulfilling a lifelong dream. That's just being in a relationship. But now you turn my best friend against me?
Zoey: Marshall made his own choice. Why aren't you mad at him?
Ted: Because he's going through a lot right now. He's looking for something to believe in, and you took advantage of that. You're just like those Internet swindlers who tricked him into paying 300 bucks for a lock of Sasquatch fur.
Zoey: You cannot compare the Arcadian to a Ziploc bag full of Turkish armpit hair.

Lily: Okay. We've cross-referenced every alcohol with Marshall and Barney's reaction. What's the right drink for this situation?
Robin: Well, they're not talking. They're not even looking at each other. God, it reminds me of those awkward Sunday dinners with my mom, my dad and his mistress. Families, right?