Marshall: Can we just stop with this stupid list? You guys are making me sad.
Lily: No, I'm having fun. Man, this whole "one-partner" thing sucks sometimes. I'm always talking about you. I can't play "I never" because then everyone would know all the weird stuff I let you do to me.

Robin: I didn't sleep with Mitch because he was naked! Mitch and I have something special. I mean, fingers crossed, guys. He may be the one.
Marshall: The one?! Mitch?! The Naked Man?!
Barney: You mean the naked genius. All these years I've been suiting up when I should have been suiting down. That's it. I am doing The Naked Man tonight. Ted, so are you.
Ted: What?
Barney: With the elevator girl. You're going out with her tonight, right? Naked Man!

Ted: No. Barney, come on, this is the first girl I've had the courage to ask out since Stella.
Barney: Naked Man!
Ted: No, Barney, this is the eighth outfit I tried on tonight! I got my hair cut three times! I'm a nervous wreck!
Robin: Are you wearing makeup?
Ted: It's not makeup! It's a sunscreen with a subtle tint of... It's made for men. Sue me, I want my eyes to pop.
Barney: Naked Man!

Ted: No, Barney, I like Vicky. This could actually go somewhere. I don't want to do anything stupid to jeopardize it.
Barney: Well, I really like... that girl, but... Oh, I didn't see her from the back. I really like... that girl. And I'm willing to jeopardize our future together for one night of glory. Naked Man!

Future Ted: [v.o.] So, that night, we all set out to prove something. Robin wanted to defend her honor.
Robin: [on the phone] Mitch, hey baby, it's me. Robin. Do you want to grab some dinner tonight? [giggling] Because you're basically my boyfriend!

Future Ted: [v.o.] Lily needed to prove that she could finish her list.
Lily: I'm stuck. I can't think of the last two.
Marshall: Reason number 48: "To reinforce good behaviors such as shaving and dental hygiene." Oh, now you're conditioning me? Great! That explains why I always get an erection when I floss.

Ted: [on the phone] I'm doing it! I'm doing The Naked Man!
Barney: That's great! What made you change your mind?
Ted: Well, the date with Vicky started off okay, but, it didn't go as well as I hoped.
[flashback:]
Vicky: Oh, my God! Ted, you are so funny! And can I just say, you have amazing eyes.
Ted: What, these old things?
[The waiter spills as he tops up their water]
Vicky: Oh! Nice job, hot shot.
Waiter: I'm sorry...
Vicky: Save it! Go tell the manager he owes us an appetizer. One of the ones with shrimp! [to Ted] You're welcome. You were saying?
[later:]
Vicky: And then his cane missed the top step, and he was falling, for, I swear, like two minutes. Oh, God, I love old people.

Robin: It's so great to see you again. [Mitch is silent] I really had a great time last night. So, what is it like managing a C.P.K.? I mean, who's idea was it to put a pineapple in the...
Mitch: Okay, stop right there. I know what this is. I've been on this date before. This is the "I'm not a slut" date.
Robin: What? That's crazy. Usually you read me so well, but this time you're wrong.
Mitch: Come on, Robin. One of us had a good time last night, and we both know it was me.
Robin: Oh, Mitchell... Something, that is, that is just not true!
Mitch: Really? How was the sex?
Robin: I didn't hate it.

Mitch: Robin, you've seen my move. That's it. I have nothing else to offer you. I'm broke, I sweat when I eat, and I'm in, like, five different fantasy football leagues. It's all I talk about. Trust me, you don't want to be around that.
Robin: What? Yes, I do! Look, I didn't just sleep with you because you were naked.
Mitch: Yeah, you did. And now you're trying to pretend it was something more to make yourself feel better. Say what you will, at least The Naked Man is honest.

Ted: You have a really nice place!
Vicky: [o.s.] Oh, thanks! Coming from you, that's a real compliment. I just love that you're an architect, it's so fascinating. I could listen to you talk about structural design all night.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then I noticed, lying on her end table, a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda. The same edition I'd had since college. And it was bookmarked to my favorite poem. Maybe I was all wrong about this girl. Maybe there was a future for us.
Ted: Crap! [quickly dresses]