‘The Magician's Code - Part One’
Season 7, Episode 23 - Aired May 14, 2012
When Lily goes into labor, Barney tries to help Marshall get back to New York from Atlantic City. Meanwhile, Ted and Robin try to distract Lily from her painful contractions by telling her stories.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Okay, Lily, I know this isn't how you imagined it, but I want you to know that I am here for you and I am rock solid! Oh, I can see its head. [faints]
Quote from Lily
Dr. Sonya: All right, Lily, legs up! We push now, yes?!
Lily: I can't. Marshall's not here yet.
Dr. Sonya: Lily! If you don't push, I will shove that baby up your throat and pull it out of your mouth!
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Please, sir, all you have to do is take the next exit to Manhattan. You'll be back on the road in 20 minutes.
Bus Driver: I already told you, I'm not allowed to stop.
Barney: Sir, this man is having a baby tonight. And instead of going to Saint Marcus Hospital, we're going to Buffalo. And I've seen women from there. The city's aptly named.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Look, I'm a screwup. I had something special with this girl Quinn, and I ruined it. But this guy, he's done everything right. He's been loving and devoted since he was 18 years old. There are only a few truly great people on this planet, and he is one of them. He deserves to be at the birth of his son. So... what do you say?
Bus Driver: Unless there's an emergency, I'm not allowed to stop, so sit down, watch Cocoon 2 and shut up.
Barney: I'm sorry, buddy, I tried.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And then, something wonderful happened.
Old Woman #1: I'm having a heart attack!
Old Man: I'm having a heart attack!
Old Woman #2: I'm having a heart attack! And my doctor is at Saint Marcus Hospital!
Old Man: So is mine!
Old Woman #1: Mine, too. And my son is head of Cardiology.
All: We know!
Quote from Robin
Robin: I don't know why I passed out. I have delivered 12 perfectly healthy babies, and one of them was even human.
Ted: Well, it's different when it's someone you love. I mean, that head was coming out of your best friend.
Robin: Oh, stop. I'm feeling woozy again.
Ted: Salt lick?
Quote from Robin
Robin: Look, um, I know things have been weird between us the last few months, but... Marshall and Lily are having a baby.
Ted: Yeah.
Robin: And, you know, I want this baby to be born into a world where we're okay. So, friends?
Ted: I love you, Robin. Kidding.
Robin: You...
Ted: Friends.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Guys, great news from down the hall. One dollar, two bags of gummy bears! It's like, I don't even care what happens for the rest of the day.