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The End of the Aisle

‘The End of the Aisle’

Season 9, Episode 22 - Aired March 24, 2014

With only a half-hour to go before their wedding, Barney and Robin both panic about their upcoming nuptials. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily update their own wedding vows.

Quote from Barney

Marshall: You're seriously questioning our wedding vows? Us? Uh, we're adorable.
Lily: We're Marshmallow and Lilypad, bitch.
Barney: Okay, I'll give you this. Your little pre-wedding wedding out by the tree, you said some very sweet stuff. Hell, Ted even cried. [scoffs] Ted. But later, at the actual wedding...
[flashback:]
Marshall: Lily Aldrin, I vow to be there for you in sickness and in health.
[present:]
Barney: Hate to tell you, Lilypad, but Marshall has since confessed to me that en route to your honeymoon...
[flashback to Lily throwing up on the airplane as Marshall sleeps in the seat next to her:]
Lily: [retching] Oh. Oh, God.
Marshall: [snoring]
[present:]
Marshall & Lily: You son of a bitch.
Barney: Do you deny it?
Marshall: Lily, you know I'm not a vomit guy, and I just thought I should give you your space. Like a dying cat.

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Quote from Marshall

Marshall: I'm so sorry I let you down.
Barney: Hang on there, Marshmallow. Remember when the blushing bride said...
[flashback:]
Lily: I vow to honor and respect you.
[present:]
Barney: Maybe she was blushing because she was lying her ass off. Not two months later...
[flashback to drunk Ted and Barney drawing on Marshall after he passed out:]
Lily: Hey, not cool! You will not take a picture of my husband like that! [holds up a Wonder Woman corset]
[present:]
Marshall: You took part in the bearded Wonder Woman incident of 2007? Lily, that photo got all over Friendster and Myspace and... Man, 2007 was a long time ago.

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Wait. I know one vow we kept.
[flashback:]
Marshall: I vow to make you breakfast in bed every Sunday morning.
[present:]
Barney: Really? You still do that?
Marshall: Absolutely.
[flashback to Lily in bed as baby Marvin cries:]
Marshall: [o.s.] Heads up! [throws a bagel at the headboard]
Lily: Oh! No cream cheese?
[Marshall throws a glob of cream cheese which sticks to the wall. Lily smears the bagel in it]
[present:]
Barney: Oh! You feed her like Sloth from Goonies. So the magic's still there.

Quote from Ted

Robin: I... I can't shake it. I-I can't shake this feeling that nothing about me and Barney makes any sense.
Ted: But love doesn't make sense. I mean, you can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical, but we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and... and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do. Look, I know that sounds cheesy, but it's-it's just true. You love Barney, and-and he loves you. And that doesn't have to make sense to make sense.

Quote from Lily

Lily: I vow to cry less during this pregnancy.
Marshall: I vow to cry less during this Vikings season.
Lily: Mm, with that secondary, I wouldn't make that promise.
Marshall: I vow to keep at least 80% of these vows.
Lily: That seems high.
Marshall: And I vow to keep updating them as we go. Because one set of vows, it can't cover a lifetime of growing and changing with you, of raising children with you, falling more and more in love with you every day, Lily Aldrin, which is what I vow to do for the rest of my life.
Lily: Crap. I already broke my crying vow.
Marshall: I'll forgive you.

Quote from Barney

Robin: Barney?
Barney: Hey, I've been looking for you. You okay?
Robin: Uh... yeah. I-I was just talking to the... the band about the... thing with the stuff. What are those?
Barney: My vows. I-I know it's bad luck to see the bride right before the ceremony, but I realized something. Marshall and Lily have broken most of their wedding vows, but they're still the best couple I know. I think their biggest problem was that Marshall didn't tell Lily the truth. So... I've decided to make only one vow to you, because it's the only one that really counts. Robin Scherbatsky, from this day forward, I am always gonna be honest with you. 'Cause I love you. I'll see you up there. Oh. Ted got that locket for you. He's the one you should thank.
Robin: Barney, wait. [they kiss]

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: What is it?
Barney: The cornflower blue tie. That's the one I should be wearing. It's right by my bed. Back in Manhattan. Stall for me. I'll be back in six hours, tops.
[Marshall slaps Barney]
Marshall: That's all of 'em!
Barney: Wow. Wait. I'm free. It's over. The slap bet is finally... over?
Marshall: Yeah, it is, buddy.
Barney: Thank you. You know, this may sound crazy, but I'm gonna miss that slap bet.
Marshall: No, you won't.
Barney: No, you're right. I won't.

Quote from Robin

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, it's not always rational, but people on their wedding day sometimes find themselves panicking about whether they've made the best choice.
Barney: I have a better tie at home! It's cornflower blue. It's cornflower blue!
Future Ted: But lucky for Barney, he was marrying a rock.
Robin: I can't go through with this wedding.

Quote from Robin

Robin: God, you're gonna think I'm insane, but... I still think that it's a bad sign I never found that locket. Some part of me thought that Barney would magically find it. I know. I know that's unfair of me to expect that, but... you know, I want to be with a guy who comes through for me, you know? The guy who, somehow, against all odds, finds my locket.
Ted: Okay, just, um... just calm down, stay put. Uh, I'm-I'm gonna go get you some water, okay?

Quote from Ted

Ted: First off, kudos to Marshall and Lily for calming you down. Second, do you... Do you remember Robin's locket?
Barney: Yeah, of course. She never found it. Whoa. How did you...?
Ted: I never told you about it because I was afraid you'd take it the wrong way, but I actually wound up tracking it down. It's a long story. I was gonna give it to Robin as a surprise, but... she needs it to come from you.
Barney: Ted, I don't know.
Ted: Take it. Please.
Barney: How'd you find it?
Ted: I didn't find it. You found it.

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