[flashback to Ted with Victoria at her bakery:]
Ted: Well, this is great. You know what else is getting clean along with this cupcake tray? My conscience.
Victoria: You got anything else you need to atone for? My oven needs cleaning.
Ted: Un, no, nothing else. Not yet anyway.
[present, the gang at a restaurant:]
All: [singing] Bang, bang, bangity-bang, said a bang-bang-bangity.
[flashback:]
Victoria: I'm getting married.
[present:]
Robin: Bang.

Marshall: You had the knife skills, you had the trigger, all you needed then was to want something from me. And then one day, those somethings came a-busting out.
Robin: Wapong!
Lily: I am gonna have to walk this earth, knowing Barney has touched my boobs.
Robin: Yeah. It stays with you. His email reminders don't help.

Barney: Okay, Lily, this is ridiculous. If you want to call the bet off...
Lily: Great! The bet's off!
Barney: Let me finish. Here's the deal: If you let me just see them, no touching, just looking for one minute...
Lily: 30 seconds.
Barney: For 30 seconds, in a well-lit photography studio...
Lily: In the alley.
Barney: In the alley, then we'll cancel this entire wager completely. Do we have a deal?

[flashback to Ted and Victoria at her bakery:]
Victoria: Okay. Fine. Just let yourself off the hook on a technicality! Forget the fact that you did cheat on me!
Ted: Forget it? I will never forget it. Okay? I will never stop regretting it, because what we had meant that much to me! I just... I wish it had meant something to you, too.
Victoria: Are you kidding? I loved you!
Ted: Did you?
Victoria: Yes. We had such an amazing time together. Do you remember that night we found that crazy videotape of Barney?
Ted: Game night. We played that ridiculous game Marshall invented.
Victoria: Marshgammon.
Ted: Yeah. We've played it a few times since. I still don't get it.
Victoria: Remember the night we met?
Ted: I remember you not letting me kiss you.
Victoria: Remember why?
Ted: You had this ridiculous idea that the moment leading up to the kiss...
Victoria: The drum roll.
Ted: ...is as good as the kiss itself.
Victoria: Isn't it?
Ted: Well, it's certainly more innocent.
Victoria: It's completely harmless.
Ted: Completely.
[Ted and Victoria kiss]

[flashback to Ted and Victoria at her bakery:]
Ted: I should not have done that.
Victoria: No, that was me. I let you come wash my dishes! I said my "oven" needed "cleaning"! I invited you into a porno!

Lily: Fine, you can see my boobs!
Barney: To the alley!
[in the alley, Ted is facing away from Lily, Marshall, Barney and Robin:]
Ted: This seems unfair. I mean, I get that I'm the only person not allowed to see this, but... it just, it-it seems unfair.

Barney: Come on, Lily, hurry up.
Robin: Guys... You know, I'm all for honoring a bet, but who invited Takumi?
Barney: [to Takumi] Sorry, bro. I tried. [in Japanese] I'll send you the pictures.

Ted: What's going on? What am I missing? Are they out yet? What do they look like? Look, I don't want to know! Just tell me the kind of coin.

[flashback to Ted taking Victoria to the bus:]
Ted: Well, this feels familiar. You leaving, me kind of wanting to say, "Don't go""
Victoria: Little late for that.
Ted: Little bit. Don't go.
Victoria: Ted...
Ted: I'm sorry. I just... Why didn't I say it then? Why'd I let you get on that plane? Why didn't I get on it with you? What would our lives be right now, if we had just... held on? Would I have still run into you at this party tonight or would we have been there together? We'd go home, to our home? You cook. I do the dishes. I'm happy that you're happy. But damn it. What if?
Victoria: Do you really want to know the answer to that?
Ted: No. I think it would kill me.
Victoria: Good-bye, Ted.

Marshall: Well, we're gonna duck out.
Lily: Sorry to leave you with the bill.
Marshall: Oh, guys, it's gonna be a good year.
Barney: I'm glad you guys can laugh, 'cause I think I'm gonna be physically ill.
Ted: Coming down with a mallardy?
Robin: Oh, they look hungry. There you go. [throws food at Barney's tie] Here you go.