Ted: Okay, as fun as this place is, it's late. So, what's our play? And don't say, "The Siamese Twins"" We're not stretching out another one of my jackets.
Barney: No, dude, this is the Drunk Train. We don't need a play! All we have to do is sit back, play it cool, scope out the hotties, and by the end of the line, we will totally be sleeping with someone.
[three minutes later, Ted and Barney are asleep on each other]

Robin: You know, you are so great. You sat there listening to Marshall and Lily bicker all night, and you didn't complain once.
Kevin: Well, I am a therapist, so I do plan on billing them. I also have a couple powerful medications that might help.
Robin: Lily can't take anything; she's pregnant.
Kevin: No, I meant for us. If we're getting through five more meals and a sleigh ride with those guys, we need to be spaced out of our gourds.
Robin: Well, if we are keeping score, I owe you one weekend, mister.
Kevin: I was thinking a little longer than that.
Robin: What do you mean?
Kevin: Robin, will you marry me?

Kevin: Look, I know this is fast. I'm just excited to start a life with you. If that's what you want.
Robin: Wow. Um... I'm- I'm not saying no. I'm- I'm not saying anything. I just, um... I-I need some time to think.
Kevin: I totally understand. Um, take as much time as you need. I'll just, uh... I'll just keep this here until you're ready.
Robin: Any chance we could put that bad boy away for now?
Kevin: It's really just staring at us, isn't it?

Ted: For the last time, I'm sorry.
Barney: It's okay. Your debt is paid. You don't have to come on the Drunk Train anymore. You're never gonna meet the one there, anyway.
Ted: Oh, screw the one!
Barney: What?
Ted: Every date I've been on lately has been brutal. Last week, I went out with a girl whose favorite band was Glee. Plus, it's almost Valentine's Day, and I'm alone without anything close to a girlfriend. So... all aboard!

Marshall: Well, I propose we order a bottle of wine.
Lily: Propose!
Marshall: Not propose. Suggest. I'm not married to the idea. Lily, take it.
Lily: Why don't we get an appetizer? How about the... onion rings? I mean, diamond rings. I mean, diamond circles. I mean, onion circles. I know they're fattening, but I hear this place has great onion circles.
Kevin: So, Robin, about not telling them?
Robin: The green salad looks interesting.

Kevin: Well, it's a close one. Lily made 14 awkward references to marriage, and Marshall made an even 60.
Lily: I'm so sorry, Kevin.
Kevin: It's okay. I'm gonna go to bed, but you guys think tomorrow we can stop with all the marriage talk?
Lily & Marshall: I do.
Kevin: That's a half a point each.

Lily: So, are you any closer to deciding?
Robin: Oh. Uh, well, there is something you don't know. Um, can you guys keep a secret?
Marshall: Yeah. Well, some of us can.
Robin: Well, there's something I have been keeping from everyone for the last couple of months. Um... I found out that I can't have children.
Lily: I'm so sorry.
Marshall: Yeah.
Lily: Are you okay?
Marshall: I can't believe that we didn't know.
Robin: No, you know, I've had some time to deal with this by myself, and... I'm okay. For real.
Lily: Are you sure?
Robin: Yeah. So even though I love Kevin and I think I want to say yes, I can't until I tell him. But I'm scared it'll end our relationship.
Marshall: You know what, Robin? If it's meant to be, then it won't matter.
Lily: Yeah, you just have to tell him.

Barney: Thank God we had the keys to Marshall and Lily's place.
Ted: Pretty sure I told you that before you kicked in that side window.
Barney: You mean, before the "burglars" kicked in that side window and stole all of Lily's underwear.

Future Ted: [v.o.] The next morning, Robin mustered up all her courage and finally told Kevin her secret. I know that this is a lot to process, so... you take all the time you need. And I understand...
Kevin: Robin, will you marry me?
Robin: Yes.

Kevin: So my Mom's already picked a date, venue and caterer for the wedding. But nothing's set in stone. My great-aunt's gonna sing. That's happening.
Robin: Are you really okay with this?
Kevin: Yeah, she's actually got a decent voice.
Robin: No, are you... are you okay with everything that we talked about?
Kevin: Of course, Robin, I love you. Besides, there are other ways to have kids. There's adoption, surrogacy...
Robin: No, Kevin, it's not just that I can't have kids, I don't want kids.
Kevin: Oh. Okay.
Robin: Knowing that, do you want to take your proposal back?
Kevin: Will you marry me?