Marshall: He'll probably choose me.
Ted: What?
Marshall: Well, I'd be worth more. Yeah. Perfect teeth.
Ted: Yeah, it's just... just I'm way more athletic than you.
Marshall: Yeah, this coming from the guy who's never beaten me at skee-ball. The only reason a mobster might choose you is because they'd be afraid I'd go all "Marshall Unchained" on them, which obviously isn't a risk with you.
Ted: Oh, you want to see some "Ted Unchained," huh? I'll show you Ted Unchained!
Barney: Marshall, would you mind standing over there for good luck?
Marshall: Oh, yeah, sure.

Marshall: Barney! Barney, hurry! Give them the money! Please, hurry!
Ted: Oh, no! The Chinese mobster is giving Marshall back and taking me hostage instead, because he says I'm obviously more valuable! Can you, can you unlock the door?
Marshall: Barney, please! They're gonna chop off my hand!
Ted: No, they're not! They said you're free, and I think we agreed that's not something mobsters would do.
Marshall: Ted, come on! This is my thing!
Barney: Don't hurt him. I've got the money.
Marshall: Too late! [screams] Not my skee-ball hand!