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Symphony of Illumination

‘Symphony of Illumination’

Season 7, Episode 12 -  Aired December 5, 2011

Robin asks Barney to keep the secret that she might be pregnant and he's the father. Meanwhile, Marshall tries to decorate the house for Christmas with the help of a neighbor kid.

Quote from Robin

Future Robin: The bottom line is, I didn't feel like talking about it. So when Ted asked...
Ted: Hey, Robin, you okay? You look upset.
Future Robin: I just came up with the first lie that popped into my head.
Robin: Yeah. Uh... I just found out I can never... be a pole-vaulter for the Canadian Olympic team. I'm too tall or something.
Lily: Robin, I'm sorry.
Barney: I'm so sorry, Robin.
Ted: I had no idea. That's terrible. Can we get some fried chicken over here, stat!
Lily: I am such a bad friend!
Barney: Three slutty nuns show up at St. Peter's- Wait, wait, they're not slutty. Well, they are, but you're not supposed to know that yet. Um...

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Quote from Robin

Robin: An airplane ticket to Cleveland?
Ted: I know it's not Canada, but it starts with a "C" and it's cold as balls, so get packed. You're coming home with me for Christmas.
Robin: Yeah, nice try, dude. I wouldn't go to Cleveland for $125 million paid over six years.
Ted: Still? Still with the LeBron jokes? Where's that ring, huh? Where's that ring he's supposed to have by now?

Quote from Ted

[When Robin returns to the apartment, the light switch doesn't work.]
Robin: Damn it.
["Highway to Hell" by AC/DC plays. A Christmas tree in the apartment lights up in sequence. Other objects around the room light up.]
Ted: Yes, it is. Look, you don't want to tell me what's wrong, fine. I don't need to know. But you can never stop me
from trying to cheer you up. It's a fact of life. You're just gonna have to deal with it.
Robin: Ted.
Ted: Hold on, hold on, this is the best part.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Okay, one scotch for me, one iced tea on the rocks glass for Mommy.
Robin: Stop it.
Barney: Sorry, sorry. Keeping it secret. Oop, I think I gave you the wrong one. Here, let me just... Give it to me. Drop... let go. Take it away from you.

Quote from Ted

Marshall: Hey, guys! Guess what this is!
Ted: One of your socks? Boom! You're huge.
Marshall: No, it's our unborn son's Christmas stocking. Grandma Gunderson started knitting it the day Lily and I got married. And she died before she could finish.
Ted: I miss stockings. My stepdad Clint made us get rid of anything that reminds him of the commercialization of Christmas.
Lily: I thought you said he dresses up as Santa.
Ted: Yeah, but, uh, to protest gender stereotypes, he plays Santa as a woman. Though, he keeps the beard. The result is disturbing.

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Well, we should go. We have to get to We B Babies so that we can register for our shower.
Marshall: No can do. Um, I have a big project that I'm working on. This is Richard Holdman's house in East Meadow. Last year, he had the most visited Christmas display in the tri-state area. But not this year. You know why? Because Big Fudge has come to town, and he brought his two friends: Mannheim... Steamroller. Game on.

Quote from Marshall

Robin: [retches]
Lily: Are you okay?
Robin: Yeah. Uh, it's just, um... I hate Mannheim Steamroller. Isn't there anyone else you can use?
Marshall: Come on! Who am I gonna use if not the Steamroller?!
Robin: I don't know. AC/DC?
Marshall: AC/DC? Robin, do you have any idea why they call them Mannheim Steamroller? Because they rock... so hard, so festively, that steam comes out of your brain. As it melts.

Quote from Robin

Lily: Okay, first on the registry: nipple butter.
Robin: Uh-oh.
Lily: As you breast-feed, your nipples stretch out, like, four inches and get all dry and cracked. The nipple butter stops the bleeding.
Robin: [to Barney] My four-inch nipples are going to crack and bleed?!
Barney: Yes, but while the baby is gnawing on your bleeding nips, look what she'll be wearing.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Insane Duane?
Duane: Barney?
Future Robin: [v.o.] Insane Duane was your father's best friend, back in the days before he met me or your Uncle Ted.
[flashback to Barney and Duane at MacLaren's:]
Duane: We're going back to her place. Boom!
Barney: All right, you win! Here's 20 for picking up a girl with only one word. And here's another 20 for that word being "boner."
Duane: Thank you. I'll meet you back here in an hour when I'm done with, uh... Ah, who cares what her name is;
she won't be around long enough for it to matter.

Quote from Barney

Barney: I can't believe I haven't seen you around.
Duane: Well, after Sheila and I had that quickie, my life's been playdates, preschools and poops. I haven't set foot in a bar in years.
Barney: You stopped drinking?
Duane: Oh, I still drink.

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