‘Something Borrowed’
Season 2, Episode 21 - Aired May 7, 2007
Everything that can go wrong does go wrong on Marshall and Lily's big day. Meanwhile, Barney learns the trick to getting what you want at a wedding.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Could I have everyone's attention, please? [nobody pays any attention] It's for the bride. [all turn around] One, the bride would like all of this tension out of my shoulders. And she would like, let's say, you in the inappropriately short dress to rub them. Two... What was two?
Quote from Ted
Marshall: Actually, I think it kinda works.
Ted: It totally does.
Marshall: Barney?
Barney: To be honest, I'm, uh, I'm jealous I don't get to wear it.
Marshall: Okay, problem solved. Crisis averted. Let's get me married. It looks terrible, doesn't it?
Ted: It kinda looks like fur, which gives you the appearance of a cleaned-up Bigfoot.
Quote from Marshall
Brad: [to Marshall] Hey. Cool hair, bro.
Ted: What happened to your shirt?
Brad: I got sauce on it when I tackled the caterer.
Ted: You gonna put another shirt on?
Brad: Nah, I'm good. Hey, you guys seen Scooter?
Marshall: What? What? Scooter's here? That guy's at my wedding?
Brad: Not for long, bro. Not for long.
Quote from Ted
Barney: It would cover up the problem. It's festive and it celebrates the heritage of this great nation.
Ted: Okay, unless you actually have one in your car, stop suggesting authentic Native American headdress.
Quote from Lily
Marshall: Lily, you're not supposed to see me.
Robin: Holy crap, I don't think anyone's supposed to see you.
Lily: What happened? Did Amy do this to you?
Marshall: Just the frosted tips. I did the rest. I'm sorry, baby. I've ruined the whole wedding, haven't I?
Lily: Oh, no, you didn't ruin the wedding, sweetie. It was already ruined. There's no flowers, no photographer. Oh, and Scooter's here, by the way.
Marshall: Yeah, I know. I heard.
Lily: My veil got thrashed, the harp player is in labor, and I'm not wearing my wedding underwear.
Marshall: What? No "Property of Marshall" across the back? How are people going to know whose butt that is?
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Could we even do that? I mean, what about all those people in there?
Robin: Do that one, too. And then when everything goes wrong, you won't care because you already had the real wedding out here.
Marshall: What do you think, baby?
Lily: I love it.
Marshall: Me, too. Let's do it. Let's get married before we get married.
Lily: Great. Wait, hold on. Excuse me, sir. Could we borrow your hat?
Man: Okay.
Lily: Thank you.
Marshall: Hat. We thought of authentic Native American headdress before we thought of hat.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Thank you all for coming. For those of you who don't know me, I'm not the biggest believer in marriage. But you two are so great together, you know? It's like you were, uh, made for each other.
Robin: He's gonna cry.
Barney: No, I'm not. [a man starts playing guitar] I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Lily and Marshall... when everyone sees you, they... see true love. It's the best love... Can we just, um, move on to the rings or something?
Quote from Robin
[Marshall and Lily kiss after being pronounced man and wife]
Marshall: Did you smoke?
Lily: No.
Robin: Wow. First lie of marriage. That was fast.
Quote from Lily
Marshall: How do you feel?
Lily: Tired. I got married twice today.
Marshall: So where do you want to do it for the first time as a married couple, nice hotel room or a reception hall bathroom?
Lily: What do you think? Bathroom, of course.
Ted: [in a stall] Please don't.
Marshall and Lily: Sorry, Ted.