Robin: We need to talk.
Ted: Stuffed mushroom?
Robin: We need to talk about last night.
Ted: Did you know that some mushrooms are carnivorous? Probably... Not?

Ted: We called a truce, we hugged, and when I tried to pull away, you kept your hand on my neck.
Robin: Only because your hand was still around my waist.
Ted: Oh, come on! You leaned into it.
Robin: I... leaned into it?
Ted: Yeah. You're like the crappy kid in little league who knows he's not going to make contact, so he just..."Oops, I got hit by the pitch. Better take my base."
Robin: Oh, that was you in little league, wasn't it?
Ted: My on-base percentage was off the charts!

Lily: You know what? That's it! This is Thanksgiving. Solve this right now. And if you have sex again, neither of you gets dessert! Oh, what the hell kind of Thanksgiving is this anyway?
Barney: Um, most Thanksgivings.

Lily: The slap bet commissioner's word is final, so get in the kitchen and mash some potatoes, now. And for the rest of the day, we are going to enjoy a civilized, grownup holiday.
Bob: Not too grownup. I made jell-o shots. We's gonna get silly, bitches. [high fives Barney]

Robin: Look at us! We can't be alone together, can we?
Ted: Apparently not.
Robin: What does that mean? We're supposed to be friends.
Ted: We aren't friends, are we? Not really. We avoid each other. We smile politely. We're two people who pretend to be friends because it would be inconvenient not to.
Robin: Well, maybe we should stop pretending.
Ted: Maybe we should.
Robin: So... what do we do now?
Ted: I suppose... we eat dinner. And then that's it.
Robin: Okay.

Future Ted: [v.o.] So we sat down to our first Thanksgiving together as a group...and, apparently, our last.
Barney: Marshall, you're not eating. Did something spoil your slap-petite?
Marshall: No, I just thought before we eat, maybe the chef would like to say a few words.
Lily: Nope. This sucks. Eat up and leave.
Marshall: Well, then, I'd like to say something. If that's cool? Um... today, Lily did something great. Not only did she gather us all here together and cook a delicious meal, but she also started a new tradition. We're gonna do this again next year, and the year after that... maybe for the rest of our lives. I think that's pretty amazing if you think about it. And it's all thanks to you, Lily. I love you. So, to the first of many Thanksgivings together.

Future Ted: [v.o.] You see kids, friendship is an involuntary reflex. It just happens, you can't help it. That first Thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful dinner with the four people I love most in the world. And Bob and it did become a tradition. That's why every year, we go to Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's for Thanksgiving.