Lily: Looks like the boys learned their lesson. Do you totally miss being hit on?
Robin: Oh, totally. Let's go find a sports bar.

Barney: James. James, since you like arts and crafts, look at what Charles here made with cherry stems. He did it with his tongue. Yeah.
James: Barney.
Barney: So, Charles, why don't you put your number in my brother's phone, and once he's in a funner mood...
James: Barney, Barney, I don't want his number. I don't want anyone's number, okay? I'm getting married.
Charles: Wow. Best of luck to you both.
James: Thank you.
Charles: My number's in here. I'm very discreet.

Barney: I decided to leave out the hetero college phase. No one wants to hear about that.
Lily: It was perfect. You even made Tom's dad cry. Might have been doing that because he's a Republican.

Rosa: I don't get it. Tom liked my breasts in tenth grade. Why doesn't he like them now? Why?
Barney: Rosa, why always be attracted to the unavailable ones? Why not accept the fact that you're a beautiful woman who is worthy of love? Are you brave enough to hear that? You... [she kisses Barney]
[Barney's little nephew watches. Barney gives him a thumbs up.]