Robin: And she's been throwing up ever since.
Veterinarian: So how'd she manage to eat so much chocolate?
Robin: Remember that guy, Ted, that I was telling you about? Well, I came home and I found him waiting in my apartment with a string quartet and roses and chocolates...
Veterinarian: Oh, that's so sweet.
Robin: Okay, yes, it's sweet in theory, but isn't it also kind of crazy? I mean, a string quartet in my living room... who does that?
Veterinarian: Nobody does that.
Robin: Exactly.
Veterinarian: No, honey. Nobody does that. But I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic. I'm gonna put my hand up your dog now.

Robin: I love you. I said it. Feels right. I love you.
Ted: I'm gay. I'm kidding. I love you, too. [Ted and Robin kiss] Hey, you lost your I-love-you-ginity.
Robin: Yeah. I guess I was just waiting for the right guy.

Robin: Well, I'm sorry, guys. It was all very tame. We only dated for a week and a half.
Barney: Wha...? I thought you said you were together all summer.
Robin: Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July.

Lily: Okay, guys, the movers are coming in 14 hours. We gotta get back upstairs and finish packing.
Robin: You guys still aren't finished packing? How is this taking so long?
Ted: Hey, all the great memories of our 20s took place in that apartment. It's not like throwing stuff in a box. You start to reminisce.
Robin: Not me. The key? Throw stuff out and never look back. I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.
Marshall: Moving is really emotional, okay?

Robin: It's okay. It's been tough on me, too. I mean, look at me. I've sworn off relationships.
Marshall: She's so about to get married.
Ted: I gotta work on my toast.
Marshall: I gotta make sure my tux fits.
Robin: I will bang your heads together like coconuts.

Ted: I mean, all I want is for someone to go to a Weird Al concert with me, and I'm stuck going with my roommate.
Robin: Yeah, I might have to rain-check you there, buddy. I'm not a Weird Al fan. He's just a rip-off of Peculiar Jacques.

Ted: I thought you were bummed about not going home for Christmas.
Robin: Are you kidding? I love New York at Christmas. It's so quiet and peaceful. Got my eggnog to keep me company, so...
Ted: Robin, what's wrong?
Robin: Nothing.
Ted: Just tell me.
Robin: Why do you need to know so bad?
Ted: So I can cheer you up.
Robin: It's not your job to cheer me up.
Ted: Yes, it is. Cheering you up is my job.
Robin: Well, then, you're fired.
Ted: You can't fire me. I'm union, bitch.
Robin: It's not your job to cheer me up.
Ted: Yes, it is.
Robin: No, it's not.
Ted: Yes, it is.
Robin: No, it's not. Merry Christmas, Ted.
Ted: Merry Christmas.

Lily: Would you stop it?
Ted: Oh, right, right, because it's a choice.
Robin: You know what's not a choice? Being gay for this kitchen. That came out wrong.

Robin: Long story short, I promised my future self the locket would be my "something old" at my wedding. What?
Ted: No, I just like that there was ever a version of you who imagined having a "something old" at your wedding. Robin Scherbatsky, you're a girl.
Robin: Shut up. You're a girl.
Ted: That's been established. The new information here is that you're a girl. Wait... is that...?
Robin: Oh, my God, I found it.

Loretta: Fine. If Robin's ready to bury the hatchet, then I guess I'm ready to bury the hatchet.
Robin: Morning, bitches. Like my new blouse?
Loretta: Oh, hell, no!
Barney: No, Mom. Mom!