Barney: [struggling to walk] Okay. All done. 199 down, one more to go. Hey, you done with your drink? [pours it on his pants] There's the stuff.
Ted: What the hell happened to you?
Barney: So, there's this girl at my gym... Pauline, she's been after me for some time.
Ted: Why'd you wait until now?
Barney: She's not exactly my type.
[flashback to Barney at the gym talking to a grunting woman lifting weights:]
Barney: Looking good, Pauline. You are gonna rip it up at the Women's Pumping Iron Classic in Sarasota this fall. I was thinking about you and me and if you're still interested...
Pauline: [o.s.] Okay, blondie, time for Mama's cardio!
[present:]
Barney: Every inch of her tasted like roast beef and creatine. But I did it.

Barney: I did it and I still have 30 minutes before I'm supposed to meet Petra. Robin, do you have any concealer handy? I'd really like to cover up some bruises and razor burn.
Robin: Barney, I hate to break this to you, but...
Barney: What?
Robin: Well, you did count Gaby Allan twice, but you also went from 138 to 138. You used the same number twice.
Barney: Wait, so, that means... Pauline wasn't 199, Pauline was 200?
Ted: Congratulations!
Robin: Woo-hoo.
Barney: No... That was supposed to be Petra! Petra was supposed to be 200! Gorgeous, feminine, "Doesn't wear
a weight belt in bed," Petra!

Ted: Hey, come on. You made it to 200. You should be proud. You should be tested, but you should be proud. Who cares if Pauline doesn't pose for bikini pictures in magazines?
Barney: Actually, she does. She's gonna be in next week's issue of Muscle Sexxy. And like many of the ladies
in that magazine, Sexxy has two X's and one Y.

[Marshall is giving a presentation in the GNB conference room:]
Marshall: Okay. So, I have prepared a few charts to demonstrate how setting up a shell corporation in Bermuda could help minimize our second quarter losses. [nobody is paying attention] And save you all some jail time. [all perk up] To begin with... [opens his messenger bag] Could you just please excuse me?
[Marshall runs out of the room]
Ted: [answers cell phone] Mosbius Designs.
Marshall: What the hell happened to my charts?
Ted: We threw them away.
Marshall: What?
Ted: That's how an intervention works, Marshall. You wouldn't stop using, so, we flushed your stash.
Marshall: Come on, Ted! I need my charts, man! Just for today and then I promise I will never ever use charts again. I'm under at lot of pressure here. I need my charts, Jack!
Ted: My God, you're doing charts at work?
Marshall: They're for work, you idiot! I'm giving a big presentation right now and if I don't have those charts I'm gonna get fired!

Marshall: I'm sorry but there's been a little delay with the charts. But we will get started in just a minute. Fish are weird, right? I mean what's up with fish?

Marshall: I'm sorry, is there a land bass I don't know about?

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so, if I hadn't bought those charts back for Marshall, I wouldn't have had to cut down 77th to give Milt his daily dollar and well, you know the rest. So, there you have it, kids. There's a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen. If I had known then where all those little things were leading me, and how grateful I'd be to get there, well, I probably would've done something like this.
[Ted runs back hugs Milt, then people at the newsstand, then Barney at MacLaren's, then a blonde woman at the gym, then the owner and a city health inspector at the bagel store, then Robin, the purse lady and the weather reporter at the TV station]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Because somehow, I ended up in the right place at the right time. And, as a result, my life would never be the same.
[A woman taps on Ted's shoulder as he waits at a cross-walk. As he turns around to look at her, we see it's Stella.]

Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, Uncle Barney finally confronted Matthew Panning, the stud of Port Richmond Middle School.
Matthew Panning: So, Barney, great to hear from you after all this time. What's been going on?
Barney: I've had sex with 200 women.
Matthew Panning: Oh, God! That's way too many. I mean, that's just gross. Have you sought counseling
for sex addiction? Because you're a prime candidate.
Barney: Uh, have you sought counseling for I win you lose? Yeah, suddenly those 100 girls you nailed in the seventh grade aren't so impressive.
Matthew Panning: 100 girls? Is that what this is about? Barney, I lied.
Barney: Sure you did.
Matthew Panning: Barney, I was 12... of course I was lying. I didn't have a pet Ewok either.
Barney: Sure you didn't.
Matthew Panning: Your whole adult life has been built around... something I lied about when I was 12?
Barney: Jealous?
Matthew Panning: Look, I gotta go pick my kids up at school. It sounds like you got a lot of problems. Good luck, I guess.
Barney: [to himself] I'm awesome. Okay, 200. [rips up his list] Now what? [he sees Robin at the bar]