Ranjit: Hello.
Barney: Ranjit, take me to Gregor's.
Ranjit: Taking you to Gregor's.

Barney: Robin, I had no idea.
Robin: No, it's my fault for thinking that you might care. Ranjit, stop the car.
Ranjit: Stopping the car.
Barney: No, don't stop the car.
Ranjit: Not stopping the car.
Robin: Seriously, stop the car.
Ranjit: Seriously stopping the car.

Ranjit: I'll crank up the smooth jazz.

Lily: Marshall! Marshall, get in!
Ranjit: Hello.

Robin: I can't believe Ted's getting back together with Zoey.
Barney: I know, they're a total train wreck.
Robin: Unmitigated disaster.
Ranjit: Worst couple ever.

Ranjit: Should I take the West Side Highway?
Marshall: Why not, Ranjit? Don't you always just take whatever you want, regardless of anything but your own dirty, sick, twisted appetites?
Ranjit: I'll stay on Broadway.

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so, kids, on that cold December night I decided to take your Uncle Marshall's advice and be a little selfish.
Ted: Whoa.
Ranjit: Hello... and hubba-hubba.
Robin: Aw, thanks. But tonight is about my main man Mosby.
Ranjit: Really? Why?
Robin: Oh, Ted, tell Ranjit the huge thing that's happening tonight.
Ted: Barney's getting engaged.
Ranjit: Ranjit out.

Robin: Look, I... I hope it goes well for Barney. I really do. But tonight there is no place I would rather be than at your building. Celebrating with you.
Ted: Are you sure?
Robin: Ranjit, to Teddy Westside's kick-ass building.
Ranjit: [o.s.] I cannot hear you. We will be there in five minutes.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Barney's bachelor poker game was winding down. Tim Gunn, out. Lily, busted. Marshpillow, fluffed and turned down. We were playing what we thought was our final hand, it was getting intense.
Billy Zabka: Action to Ranjit. Ranjit, action to you.
Ranjit: [wearing headphones] What?

Cheryl: Where the heck is this parasailing place? You know what? I'm gonna... I'm gonna call Jerry. [Ranjit presses a button] Oh, that's weird. I just lost cell reception.
Ranjit: Yes. Weird.