Marshall: Ranjit, screw Gregor's. Let's go to Coney Island.
Ranjit: Screwing Gregor's. Going to Coney Island.

Ted: So, what do you want to do?
Ranjit: Robin, I do not want to meddle, but this is like the classic love song says... [sings loudly and high-pitched in a foreign language]
Ted: Ranjit. Ranjit, let's just communicate via text from now on, okay?

Robin: Okay, maybe that one detail stings a little bit, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with Barney.
Ted: [phone chimes] "Sounds like she's in love with Barney." Okay, is this divider even slightly soundproof? [phone chimes] "Yes." With a little winky face.

Barney: So...
Robin: You and I share no DNA whatsoever.
Barney: Let's change that.
Ranjit: [o.s.] Don't hold back. This divider is totally soundproof.Go all the way!
Robin: Wait till the hotel?
Barney: Totally.

Marshall: Well, it's official. I'm gonna be Judge Marshall Eriksen.
Ranjit: That is great. Can you help me get a driver's license?
Barney: Uh, what?

Barney: Let's do this!
Ted: Yes, let's! Oh, driver?
[The partition comes down]
Ranjit: Hello!
Barney: Ranjit! Dude, you're driving a limo now. That's awesome.
Ranjit: I've moved up in the world.

Robin: Oh, God, I'm so sorry about this. You guys had your schedule and I screwed it all up.
Ted: No, this is perfect. It's meant to be. We're all back together.
Lily: What happened?
Robin: Derek's stuck in Connecticut closing some deal. Who works on New Year's Eve?
Ranjit: [coughs]
Robin: Okay. Now I feel worse.

Lily: Natalya?
Barney: Yeah, it turns out she was asleep in the front seat the whole time. Ranjit, why didn't you tell me?
Ranjit: I didn't want to awake her. She looked so peaceful.
Ted: Party number five is 20 blocks away and all the way across town. Ranjit, can you get us there in eight minutes?
Ranjit: I get you there in six.
[cut to a traffic jam:]
Ranjit: I don't think I can do it.

Lily: So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act.
Robin: Yes.
Lily: Tell us. [hiccups]
Robin: OK, I'll tell you. But only if you guess all three parts correctly.
Marshall: Well, that's just impossible.
Robin: Exactly.

[flashback to Marshall and Lily in MacLaren's talking about setting Ted up on a date:]
Barney: Get rid of it!
Marshall: What?
Barney: This phone is cursed. Cursed, I tell you! I try to ignore it, but it just never stops ringing! It's ruining my life! I should get that. [Marshall takes the phone] No. Please! Please! Please, Marshall. Let me answer it. It could be an emergency. She could be trapped in a giant bra!
Ranjit: Barney, Barney, let it go... to voicemail.
[Ranjit carries a sobbing Barney out of MacLaren's:]