Barney: MacLaren's Pub.
Ranjit: MacLaren's Pub.
[At MacLaren's, Barney greets a gold-medalist Japanese figure skater:]
Barney: Well, hello.
[Barney sits with the woman on his bed:]
Barney: No place I'd rather be, no one I'd rather... [cell phone rings] Oh, for Pete's sake!
[Barney leaves his bedroom and answers his phone:]
Barney: You're a hot chick?
[Barney returns to his bedroom:]
Barney: Sayonara.

Lily: I don't know what kind of architect. Houses, buildings, that kind of crap.

Robin: Oh, God, Don. What the hell are you doing?
Don: I don't know. It's something called "The Naked Man." I read about it on some guy's blog. Oh, my God, I'm so stupid. Why did I ever think it would work on someone like you?
Robin: Yeah. 'Cause I would never... Could, like... Standards, so... You know.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Don was Aunt Robin's co-host on her morning show. Now, even though her show was on so early that no one watched, Aunt Robin was a consummate professional. But Don was not. But that morning, Don had gone too far.
[on Robin's show:]
Robin: Now that's what I call having a"woof" over your head. Don? Don?
Don: Why is Ulee's Gold in every crossword? Oh, it's me? Sorry, sorry, sorry. Next Sunday is Valentine's Day. And one lucky patient will be receiving a very special chocolate heart, a human heart. Hey, that reminds me, I have been meaning to ask you. Robin, do you have any Valentine's Day plans?

Lily: He asked you out?
Robin: He asked me out.
Ted: That's crazy. And they use "Ulee" because of the vowels.

Marshall: What did you say?
Robin: Well, we were on the air. I was on the spot, so I said okay.
Marshall: Oh, Robin, you are gonna marry this guy so freaking hard, right in the butt.
Robin: What? No! I hate Don! And now I can't cancel because I said I would go out with him on the air.
Marshall: What would your viewer think?

Ted: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You said you'd go out with him on Valentine's? I thought we had plans.
Robin: What? Getting drunk and cleaning the apartment was a plan?
Ted: I did not say it was a good plan.

Ted: There's always a hotter girl. Isn't that the problem, in a nutshell? There's too many options. You got Internet dating. You got bars.
Lily: Holding up your phone number on national TV.
Ranjit: I never had that problem. When I was 18, I had an arranged marriage. And I love my wife more and more
every day.
Marshall: It is true. It is very rare that two people just meet and fall madly in love. Like Robin and Don.

Robin: But we're not even, like, going out for dinner. We're just hanging out at his place.
Lily & Ted: Ooh!
Robin: No, it's not like that! It's just us and a bunch of other people.
Lily: Wait. Robin, what exactly did Don say when he asked you out?
[flashback to Robin's morning show:]
Don: I'm having some friends over to my place for a little party. You should come by if you want.
Robin: I... Okay.
[present:]
Lily: Robin, Don didn't ask you out.
Robin: Of course he asked me out.
Ted: No, he didn't.
Robin: Yes, he did. He did. He did! He did!
Ranjit: Okay.

Marshall: Well, dog my cats. I think I know what's going on here. Robin, did you want Don to ask you out?
Robin: What? No! I hate Don! I can't stop thinking about how much I hate him! It's like... It's like, all the time. I just wanna attack him, and rip his stupid clothes off, and just spank him with his little paddle until his bum's all red. Shut up! [exits]