Ted Quote #1335
Quote from Ted in The Broken Code
Barney: Hey, buddy, listen. The wedding doves got here early and I don't know where to put them...
Ted: Say no more. The best man is on it.
Barney: Thanks, Ted.
[later, Ted has rows of birds in cages in his grim basement room]
Ted: Poor guys. All cooped up. I guess there's no harm in letting you out for a bit, huh?
[later:]
Ted: They carpet-bombed my entire room. I wish I'd closed my suitcase. And my mouth.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Broken Code’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: [over video chat] To resolve this, I really need to parse the text of the Bro Code.
Ted: Too bad Marshall doesn't have a copy.
Marshall: Actually, I do. They were in the seat-back pockets of my flight in place of the safety cards.
Barney: I'm also pleased to announce the Bro Code is now available in select airlines across the country. And Lufthansa. Der Bro Code is, like, huge in Germany.
Quote from Barney
Ted: So you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad, Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well, in your case, 12th grade. Self-five. You broke the Bro Code.
Ted: No, I did not. I only went to help Robin as a friend because you didn't show up. I did not break the Bro Code.
Barney: It's in the text: "A bro shall not have a weird moment with another bro's fiancee."
Ted: Well, too bad we're in Farhampton and can't actually check.
Barney: I'm pleased to announce the Bro Code has replaced the Gideons' Bible at select hotels throughout the country.
Quote from Barney
Barney: It's in here somewhere. It has to be. Damn it. I should've done these in alpha-bro-tical order.
Ted: Who cares about the Bro Code? It's just some stupid book you made up.
Barney: [gasps] How dare you? The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay... whatever's more than centuries.
Ted: Please don't launch into a fake history lesson.
Barney: The Bro Code can trace its lineage all the way back to Broses himself.
[historical fantasy:]
Broses: Article 1: Bros before ho's.
[present:]
Ted: Okay, I see what you're doing. You can't prove I broke the Code, so you're making up stories.
Barney: This sacred text was eventually brought to the New World in 1776 by none other than Christopher Brolumbus.
[historical fantasy:]
Christopher Brolumbus: Article 62: A bro who calls dibs first has dibs. Oh? Dibs.
[present:]
Barney: And that's why he got to bang Pocahontas.
Ted: Pocahontas was with John Smith.
Barney: Maybe according to the hotel register. Whatever Mrs. Brolumbus didn't know couldn't hurt her, right? Except maybe that New World syphilis, but I digress.