Robin: Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you.
Barney: Yeah!
Robin: But if either of you makes even one peep about the show being dirty, I'm turning it off. I'm serious.
[on Space Teens:]
Robin Sparkles: Hey Jessica, how's your beaver?
[in the apartment, Ted and Barney spit take]
Jessica Glitter: Great. How's your beaver?
Robin Sparkles: Busy as ever!
[Ted and Barney stifle laughter]
Robin: Our characters had pet beavers.
Ted: [giggles] Sure.
Robin: The beaver is the official animal of Canada. It's our national mascot.
Barney: It's a noble creature.

[on Space Teens:]
Alan Thicke: Okay, girls. Everyone knows a beaver's favorite food is wood. I just hope we brought along enough of it for our three-day galactic space journey. So let's do the math. If Robin's beaver devours six inches of wood every half hour, and Jessica's beaver devours eight inches of wood every 45 minutes, how much wood will I need to keep both of these beavers well-fed all weekend long?
[Ted and Barney burst out laughing]
Robin Sparkles: While you figure it out at home, how about [aboot] we sing you a song about [aboot] our beavers?

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Sparkles's hit records "Let's Go to the Mall' and "Sandcastles in the Sand" both went maple, with "Mall" eventually going double maple.
Luc Robitaille: I've never admitted this till now, but before a big game, I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" and get a good cry on. I'm not ashamed.
Announcer: But after endless touring, Robin started to crack.
Robin: [1996 interview] Who doesn't love the mall? Shopping with your friends and... I can't do this. Get this out of my face, please. Thank you. Pardon me. Thanks. Sorry.

Ted: Look, there's a fine line between love and insanity. It's the Dobler-Dahmer theory.
[Lily and Barney groan]
Marshall: Damn, I always forget the little one.
Ted: If both people are into each other, a big romantic gesture works. Like Lloyd Dobler holding up the boom box outside Diane Court's window in Say Anything. But if one person isn't into the other, the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy, or Dahmer.

Barney: So are you the one that Robin stalked?
Simon: Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup.
Barney: What in God's name is that?
Simon: Only Canada's Super Bowl. Didn't you ever see Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes on MuchMusic?
Barney: Again, I have to go with, "What in God's name is that?"
Simon: It's only Canada's VH1's Behind the Music. There's one all about Robin Sparkles. Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed.
[Barney gets up and then runs out of Tim Hortons]