Barney Quote #1635
Quote from Barney in The Broath
[flashback to Barney and Quinn devising an evil plan:]
Barney: Here's what we do. I'll make Ted swear not to tell anyone what he knows about you, and he'll cave immediately. Next, we invite everyone over. I'll keep saying stuff like, "Is it okay if I put out the hummus, bunny face?"
Quinn: And I'll be the bossy bitch who says, "No, save it for dessert, idiot."
Barney: Nice. And, finally, we'll announce...
Quinn: "We're moving in together!" I've got an idea. Let's get your friends Ted and Robin fighting over my apartment.
Barney: Wait, what does that have to do with you and me?
Quinn: Nothing. I just worship chaos.
Barney: I can't handle how hot you are right now.
Quinn: Wait for it.
Features in the collection: Barney Stinson: Wait for It.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Barney Stinson: Wait for It’
Quote from Barney in Sweet Taste of Liberty
Barney: We're going to Sascha's.
Ted: Who the hell is Sascha?
Barney: Sascha. [points to security woman] She's having friends over for drinks at her house. It's gonna be legen- wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is -dairy!
Quote from Barney in The Magician's Code - Part One
Barney: Okay, listen, I am going to get you to that hospital or die trying. And if I succeed, I ask only one thing in return. Let me choose your child's middle name because I have thought of the most awesome name of all time.
Marshall: What's the middle name?
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: I'm waiting.
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: I said I'm waiting.
Barney: Wait for it.
Marshall: What's the middle name?
Barney: No, the middle name is wait for it. Let's say the first name is - oh, I don't know - Barney. He'd be Barney Wait for It Eriksen. How awesome is that?
Marshall: That is... the coolest middle name of all time!
‘The Broath’ Quotes
Quote from Marshall
Lily: Quinn totally duped Barney, and he couldn't even see it.
Ted: Well, apparently, the sex is mind-blowing.
Marshall: Ha, I've been there. Yeah. I was once with this chick who answered the door wearing nothing but, uh, whipped cream, a dog collar and a hot pink thong.
Lily: Marshall, you can't tell sex stories about "this chick," because everyone knows it's me. I'm the only woman
you've ever been with.
Marshall: It's not fair, the guys are always telling their sex stories and I can top every one of them. Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.
Lily: Sweet talk is not going to change my mind.
Quote from Robin
Future Ted: [v.o.] And Robin was staying with her coworker, Patrice.
Patrice: You seem so down today, Robin. I made you cookies.
Robin: Damn it, Patrice, stop smothering me!
Quote from Barney
Barney: I don't understand. Wh... Wait a sec. Ted Evelyn Mosby, you broke The Broath.
Ted: Howdare you?! A Broath is the most sacred bond between... Okay, yeah, I did.
Barney: Are you aware that breaking a Broath can have deadly, even fatal repercussions? Have you studied history, Ted?
Ted: Extensively. But I'm a little shaky on fake history, so...
Barney: The tragic cost of a broken Broath dates back to Ancient Bro-man times...
[historical flashback:]
Barney: Hey, Bro-tus, you'd tell me if, like, a bunch of dudes were conspiring to assassinate me, right?
Ted: Um, totally, Caesar. Paranoid much?
Barney: Just to be sure, can you swear a Broath to me?
Ted: Sure. I swear.
Barney: Thanks. You've always got my back.
[A team of ninjas arrive and attempt to kill Ceasar, but he manages to overpower them]
Barney: Et tu, Bro-te? [throws a ninja star]
[present:]
Barney: And then he banged, like, a hundred chicks and invented a salad. True story.