Barney Quote #1498
Quote from Barney in Field Trip
Ted: Who thinks David Hasselhoff is awesome? [The German family's hands go up] Hmm. It's true.
Barney: Okay. I've got one. If you're dating a girl, and she lies about her age, who says break up with her?
Ted: Yes, yes, but what if the person she's lying to is notoriously shallow about age?
Barney: Okay, but what if early in our relationship, she made a really big deal about wanting to not lie to each other?
Ted: What if she's hot?
Barney: Who wants five bucks? Pollstered!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Field Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Bieber, lights! In 1983, George Lucas introduced the world to the Ewoks, a race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor. Now, the Ewoks have a rich back-story that the movie didn't really go into.
Ted: Barney, why don't you just skip to the part about you and Nora?
Barney: Fine. [skips many slides] Ah, yes. Ultimately, Ewoks split Star Wars fandom into two camps: those born before, and those born after May 25, 1973: the Ewok Line. Anyone born on this side of the Ewok Line was at least ten years old when Jedi came out, and thus too old for something so cloying and cute. Anyone born on this side loved the Ewoks because, why? They reminded you of...
Gina: Our teddies?
Barney: They reminded you of your teddies. Thank you, Gina.
Ted: How do you know her name?
Barney: And so... by the immutable laws of the Ewok Line, my "29-year-old" girlfriend who hates Ewoks must in fact be no younger than... 37. That's only a year younger than Will's mom.
Will: How do you know my mom?
Barney: Class dismissed!
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I was wandering the city with 25 Intro to Architecture students when your Uncle Barney came to my rescue.
Ted: Okay, guys, seeing a building get built, not that exciting. What's really exciting is the financial side of...
Barney: Sit down, Ted, I got this. Hey, Weird Beard, lights!
[Barney narrates a slideshow:]
Barney: College, it's a confusing time.
Ted: Oh, no.
Barney: Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need... sex lessons!
Ted: Lights! Barney, these are 18-year-olds!
Barney: Ted, these are 18-year-olds!
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] The next day, Marshall returned to Gruber Pharmaceuticals alone.
Marshall: I mean, you admit that you polluted the lake. We got the evidence. We got the charts. The fish... Fish, huh? Fish are weird. You ever think about the names of fish? I mean, come on. Carp.
Sheila: Garrison, what a nice surprise. Your star apprentice was just, uh...
Marshall: "Floundering." Little, little fish humor for you guys. It was not going well.
Garrison Cootes: I'm here to turn down the 24,000.
Sheila: Well, I can maybe get you 24.5.
Garrison Cootes: Not... good... enough.
Marshall: Where are we going?
Garrison Cootes: To war, son. We're going to war.
Marshall: We're going to save the planet.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And kids, as we now know, they did.