Ted Quote #897

Quote from Ted in Natural History

Ted: Wieners. Wieners and gonads.


 ‘Natural History’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Ted: Guys, guys, guys? Architecture fun fact: If you stand right here, and you whisper, a person all the way across the other end of the room hears it like you're standing right next to them. It's one of the most sophisticated pieces of acoustical design in the world. Watch. [whispering] Diarrhea. Right? Right?

Quote from Future Ted

Ted: I can't believe this. She singles me out by name. Calls me a "fat cat." Me and my "fat-cat friends." We're not fat cats.
Barney: Exactly. I say, Marshall, my good man, how's my bow tie?
Marshall: Impeccable, old bean. To industry!
Barney: Ah, bully!
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, that night we weren't the skinniest of felines.

Quote from Barney

Lily: Ooh! I love this exhibit. One time when I was a kid, this room was closed for cleaning, so I snuck under the rope.
All: Ooh.
Barney: Wow, that's pretty cool. When I was a kid, I knocked down the blue whale.
Marshall: Okay, the giant blue whale hanging from the ceiling?
Barney: I was six. My uncle Jerry brought me here for the day. He said, "Don't touch anything." To a kid. That's like someone telling us, "Don't look at that girl's perky and impossibly symmetrical knockers."
Robin: Not bad.
Barney: So, naturally, I snapped the rib off a triceratops, blahbity-blahbity-blue, I knocked down the whale. I'm surprised security didn't stop me on the way in.
Robin: Well, I'm sure they don't remember. I mean, it's been like 30 years since that completely made-up story didn't happen.
Barney: It happened. And these people don't forget. This is not the Natural Stuff That Happened No More Than Five Minutes Ago Museum.