Ted Quote #573
Quote from Ted in The Front Porch
Robin: So, if it weren't for you, Ted and I might still be dating?
Lily: Or you would have stayed together far too long, had an incredibly bitter breakup and not even remained friends, and then you and I would never have become best friends.
Robin: Don't even say that. Okay?
Ted: Stop hugging! Lily, you had no right to interfere in my relationships. You got lucky. Okay? You met the love of your life in a dorm hallway when you were 18. But that doesn't give you the right to play God to the rest of us mortals down here who are still looking for someone. You're so concerned about who you and Marshall are gonna end up on that front porch with. Well, you know what? You can have it to yourselves.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Front Porch’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Ted: Who else?
Lily: Remember that weird sci-fi girl who wanted you to propose after, like, two months? You barely even liked her, but you were still thinking about it, so...
[flashback to Ted and Marshall, dressed as Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca, in line outside the movie theater. A woman in a Darth Vader costume approaches them.]
Lily: Listen, Ted, you're great, and this is so difficult, but I think we're looking for different things. So, live long and prosper. Or whatever.
[present:]
Ted: That was you? This is insane!
Quote from Marshall
Barney: So you're this comfy every night, and Lily still has sex with you?
Marshall: Yeah. That's what marriage is all about, man, unconditional love. You can wear whatever you want and still get laid.
Barney: Tell me more about being married.
Marshall: Well, sometimes, when you're married, you wake up to the smell of breakfast already on the table.
Barney: And coffee, too?
Marshall: And coffee, too. Sometimes, she'll even put out a vase of freshly cut flowers.
Barney: I love flowers. And sometimes, when you're worried you've made all the wrong decisions in life and you're not nearly the man you want to be, what does she do then?
Marshall: Well, she tells you that you're great and it's all gonna be okay.
Barney: That's wonderful. And she'll help you find other girls to have sex with?
Marshall: I mean, I guess. Maybe if you agreed upon that beforehand, yeah. [Barney's asleep] Mm, little guy had a big day. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Sweet dreams, slugger.
Quote from Ted
Ted: And I realized, maybe it shouldn't matter what my friends think of my girlfriend, but it sure as hell matters what my girlfriend thinks of my friends.
Robin: Wow. So you ended it?
Ted: Yeah. So if you want to be my plus one, Lily's a damn good cook.
Robin: Mmm. Beef pot pie, mac and cheese, homemade buttermilk biscuits.
Ted: Well, no wonder Marshall dies at 68.