Ted Quote #212
Future Ted: [v.o.] Robin convinced Katie to stay with her that first night. And the next day, I took everybody to the Empire State Building.
Ted: You guys are lucky you came here with an architect. Empire State Building fun fact number one: When construction began on March 17, 1930, the framework rose at a rate of four and a half stories per week. Four and a half stories per week. Four and a half stories per week. There it is. There it is. Come on. These are fun facts, guys, let's have fun with them.
Quote from Barney
Lily: Speaking of first times, we never got to hear your virginity story.
Marshall: That's right, I almost forgot.
Barney: Okay. I was 16, and it was in a baseball dugout...
Marshall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Barney: I mean, I was in a subway with a high-priced call girl...
Ted: Risky Business.
Barney: I was accidentally hacking into NORAD'S computer...
Ted: That's War Games, and there's not even a sex scene in it.
Barney: All right! I was 23, and it was with my mom's 45-year-old divorced friend, Rhonda. She called me "Barry" the whole time, and for two weeks, my comforter smelled like menthol cigarettes. You happy?
Quote from Barney
Marshall: Hey, why don't you tell us again about your first time at the camp in the Catskills.
Barney: Baby and her family spent every summer at Kellerman's. Her dad did not approve of our love.
Ted: Did anyone put Baby in a corner?
Barney: Oh, God, no. What can I say, I had the time of my life. True story.
Quote from Intervention
[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.
Quote from We're Not From Here
Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!