Future Ted: [v.o.] Yeah, Barney and James together was a lethal combination. Since there was never any crossover in targets, James was always there for Barney with the assist.
[flashback to James and Barney at MacLaren's]:
James: [to a woman] Whoa. Your scarf... it is fierce!
Woman: Thanks. H&M.
James: What? I would never know, 'cause it is so hot that my eyes are melting. Oh, I can't see. Hey! You know, speaking of things that would look good wrapped around you, have you met my straight brother, Barney? Oh, he is fab...don't you go nowhere...ulous. Okay?

Barney: Exactly! Ted, let's wrap. Statistic: at every New York party there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... hu-with this?
Ted: Barney, I don't wanna say.
Barney: Argh! Scoping, beep, scoping, beep!
Lily: Man you're a dork.
Barney: Beep, beep, beep, beep. Target acquired! And now it's time we play a little game I like to call "Have You Met Ted?"
Ted: No, come on not this.
Barney: [taps woman] Hi! Have you met Ted?

Barney: Exactly! Ted, let's wrap. Statistic: at every New York party there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... hu-with this?
Ted: Barney, I don't wanna say.
Barney: Argh! Scoping, beep, scoping, beep!
Lily: Man you're a dork.
Barney: Beep, beep, beep, beep. Target acquired! And now it's time we play a little game I like to call "Have You Met Ted?"
Ted: No, come on not this.
Barney: [taps woman] Hi! Have you met Ted?

Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you gonna do when Robin shows up?
Ted: Okay, I got it all planned out.
[fantasy:]
Ted: [v.o.] She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. Nah, I'm across the room at my drafting table showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these, "Hey, what's up?" She says, "Hey, nice place" etcetera, etcetera. And then I say, "Well make yourself at home," and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here?" I say like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"
[fantasy ends:]
Lily and Marshall: The roof!
Ted: Get her up to the roof and the roof takes care of the rest.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Now ever since Marshall put that ring on her finger, Lily had been, well, extra affectionate.
Marshall: Baby, no. I have a twenty-five paged paper on unconstitutional law due on Monday, I barely started,
Lily: Hey, I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kind of makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like my shirt. Kind of don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right. I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: [closes laptop] No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
Ted: Guys! Boundaries!