Marshall Quote #1245

Quote from Marshall in The End of the Aisle

Lily: Wait, what are we doing here?
Marshall: Lily, our-our wedding vows, maybe they were just too perfect for real life. Real life is messier than that, and... we're different people than we were in 2007. But that's okay. Maybe we just need some updated vows. So I thought maybe before this place gets too busy, we could borrow this altar for a minute. Lily Aldrin, I vow to stop shouting stuff at you when you're dumping out. You're the love of my life, and you deserve to make a deuce in peace. I vow to stop pointing out every dog erection we see when we walk through the park, even though they are incredibly weird looking.
Lily: Oh, just don't point and scream, "Maybe it's Maybelline." Marshall Eriksen, I vow to always tell you when you have green stuff in your teeth. You have green stuff in your teeth.
Marshall: Oh. I vow to always sit next to you and hug you, even if you're covered in vomit, whether it's yours or Marvin's or, in the case of what came to be known as Spew Year's Eve 1998, my own. Sorry.
Lily: I vow to stop getting so angry...
Marshall: Ooh, I just thought of another one.
Lily: ...when you interrupt me.
Marshall: Mine was to interrupt you less, so that's good. I vow to finally stop petitioning Paul McCartney to let Weird Al record "Chicken Pot Pie" to the tune of "Live and Let Die." It's over. I'll let it go.

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 ‘The End of the Aisle’ Quotes

Quote from Future Ted

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I won't lie, that was a long weekend. More ups and downs than I can count. It was a twisting, turning road that led to the end of the aisle, and not everything along the way was perfect. To be honest, not everything to follow would be perfect either. But what is? Here's the secret, kids: none of us can vow to be perfect. In the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we've got. Because love's the best thing we do. And on that lovely spring evening, that's exactly what Barney and Robin vowed to each other. And it was legendary.

Quote from Robin

Patrice: You've never looked more beautiful, Robin.
Robin: [quietly] Nobody asked you, Patrice.

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.