Barney Quote #2077
Barney: The only question is, which of these other suits do I pick? There are so many great ones to choose from.
Ted: Well, how about this one?
Barney: Yes, yes, that's the one. Oh, hey, quick question, is it weird to get married in a suit that you may have worn while banging a female rodeo clown? I know what you're wondering. Yes, the carpet matched the drapes.
Ted: Of course that's weird, every part of it is. Uh, what about this suit?
Barney: Ha, ha. Let's just say I stuffed a lot of bunnies in that suit.
Ted: Barney, do you have to phrase it that way?
Barney: Actual bunnies, Ted. This is my magic suit. Get your mind out of the gutter. Though I did once wear it to the Playboy holiday party and, uh... Ha, ha, let's just say I stuffed a lot of bunnies in that suit.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Vesuvius’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
[the year 2024:]
Curtis: I'm sorry, did I hear you talking about The Wedding Bride?
Ted: Oh, God.
Curtis: The movie or the smash Broadway musical?
Ted: Smash? Oh, oh. Oh, I guess a show's a smash now if it closes after only 96 weeks.
The Mother: So my husband's ex-fiancee's husband wrote the screenplay for The Wedding Bride. Jed Mosely was based on Ted.
Ted: Okay, Jed was not based on me.
[movie scene:]
Jed Mosely: Hey, that is not a toy, you ragamuffin! That is an authentic flail I won at the renaissance faire.
[back:]
Ted: Entirely.
Quote from The Mother
[the year 2024:]
Ted: So, what happens next? With Lily and the wedding dress, I mean.
The Mother: Well, she brought the dress so she and Marshall could get new wedding photos taken, because, in yet another story I know...
[flashback to Marshall shaving his head on his wedding day]
The Mother: What space would I have in my brain for other things if I didn't know all this? Ah, probably just state birds or some crap. Heh.
Quote from The Mother
[the year 2024:]
Ted: And that's the story. Right down to the surprise ending.
The Mother: Is it really such a surprise? I mean, come on. Of course she showed up. What mother is gonna miss her daughter's wedding? [Ted gets emotional] Oh, hey. No, come on.
Ted: [sobbing] It's okay, I'm fine. I'm okay.
The Mother: Did Barney really wear a scuba suit into the bar?
Ted: I've told you that story a million times.
The Mother: Yeah, but where did Barney get the scuba suit?
Ted: He stole it.
The Mother: What?
Ted: Yeah. I can't believe I forgot that. He walked right into this sporting goods store, tried on a scuba suit, walked right out the door. He walked all the way home in it, like 20 blocks. [both laugh[ Guy in a scuba suit,
just walking down Broadway.
The Mother: He should be in prison.
Ted: Well, yeah, for lots of reasons.