The Mother Quote #16

Quote from The Mother in Unpause

The Mother: Okay. It's over.
Ted: Starting the clock now. Labor sucks, huh?
The Mother: Yeah. That fun-sounding name? It's totally misleading.
Ted: [chuckles] We better have this baby soon. You know my mom's rule. "Nothing good happens after 2 a.m."
The Mother: I don't buy it. Just like I don't buy what her son told me. "Let's go away for one last weekend before the baby comes. We'll be fine."
Ted: Well, I hate to point fingers, but you should never listen to me. You know that.
The Mother: That's my bad.

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 ‘Unpause’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so we did it. We asked Barney all the questions we'd always wanted to.
[montage:]
Barney: In one night? Four.
Barney: In one family? Three.
Barney: Yes, but not while she was Secretary of State.
Barney: Yes, but not while she was Secretary of State.
Barney: Just once. With a French male model, Henri. It was late, we were the last two people in the club. I was Ionely and I figured, why not try it? That was the only time I ever split a cab.
Barney: Yes, but not the MIT you're thinking of: The Magicians Institute of Teaneck.
Barney: I've had sex in Ted's bed 14 times.
Ted: I asked if you wear shoulder pads. I think I've just got one question left, and it's a biggie. Barney Stinson, what do you do for a living?

Quote from Barney

Ted: Tell us more about this job.
Barney: Well, as you know, back in my hippie days, a man came into my coffee shop, told me money was all that mattered and stole my girlfriend. That's when I decided to become awesome. But I had no idea how to break into the corporate world. So, hoping he wouldn't recognize me, I went to the person from whom I knew I could learn everything.
[flashback:]
Greg: Do we know each other, bro?
Barney: We're all connected in Gaia's tapestry of... [clears throat] No. We don't. Bro.
Greg: Wow, you went to MIT. Pretty impressive.
Barney: I did get a perfect score on the ACTs.
[present:]
Barney: Advanced card tricks.

 The Mother Quotes

Quote from Bass Player Wanted

Marshall: Hey, thanks again for picking us up. It's been a crazy couple days. You can't imagine what we've been through.
The Mother: Wait, let me guess. You were visiting a relative? Maybe your mother? And I'm getting a Midwest vibe, somewhere like Wisconsin... [Marshall scoffs] No. Minnesota?
Marshall: Wow, you're, like, really good at this.
The Mother: You're planning an overseas trip with your wife. I'm seeing a feisty redhead who loves art. She just got a job in Europe. Maybe France? No. Italy? Total shot in the dark, but Rome?
Marshall: Maybe I'll just like... I'll get out right here.
The Mother: You're not going anywhere. No, I'm just messing with you. I rode the train with your wife. She told me all about you. You must be Marshall.

Quote from Bass Player Wanted

Marshall: So, what did Darren do to you?
The Mother: Well, a few years ago, I started this band. You know, it was a goof. It was just me and a couple of dorks from business school. I'm actually embarrassed to tell you our name.
Marshall: I had an all-lawyer band called The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk.
The Mother: Oh, I now feel very safe talking about my band, Super Freakonomics.
Marshall: Nice.