Marshall Quote #1186

Quote from Marshall in Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara

Marshall: Relax, I'm not gonna slap you right now. When I slap you, it shall be beneath a willow tree next to four women and a tiger.
Barney: A willow tree, four women and a tiger? What are you talking about?
Marshall: Who said anything about a willow tree, four women and a tiger? Guys?
Ted: You were totally silent just now.
Barney: But Marshall just said that. What is going on? How did you do that to the jukebox? Wait, it's fake. That's a prop jukebox designed just to mess with me.
Carl: Marshall, that jukebox cost 8 grand.
Marshall: I have much gold.
Carl: Huh. That is much. You got lucky, Eriksen.

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 ‘Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Marshall: A slap in the face. Ah, yes, Barney, there's something I need to tell you about the next slap that you're going to receive. You see, I want this slap to be as painful as humanly possible.
All: Sure.
Barney: Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Yes, you won a slap bet with me seven years ago. And yes, over the years you got in some great slaps...
Marshall: Some great slaps.
Barney: But here's the problem. You've tormented me so much that I am now immune to it. It's as if my face, my psyche, my soul were covered in that numbing cream, we all put on our deal so that we can go all night, right, fellas? Okay, we'll all just pretend like we've never done that. Just like we've all never sat on our left hand until it fell asleep and then used it for an away-gamer. Okay, we'll all pretend like we've never done that, just like we've all never taken two live jumper cables...
Ted: Please, stop.

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] Oh, sorry, kids. I forgot to mention there's a bit of a back-story to this particular slap.
[flashback a few weeks earlier:]
Marshall: Oh, man. At least it landed on the mustard stain.
Barney: Don't bother. That suit is a stain. A stain on the very institution of suits. You know what tie goes with that suit? The tie at the top of a Hefty bag. A suit like that only needs one button, self-destruct.
Lily: Hey, I bought him that suit.
Barney: Where, Barfs Brothers? Men's Outhouse? Georgio Arms-Are-Not-The-Same-Lengthy? That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere.

Quote from Marshall

Barney: Cleveland?
Marshall: Cleveland.
Barney: Why Cleveland?
Marshall: It's the city equivalent of being slapped in the face.
Ted: Bro.