The Mother Quote #11

Quote from The Mother in Bass Player Wanted

The Mother: Anyway, I brought Darren in to split lead vocals, and he took over. First, he took away my solos,
then I got demoted to backup vocals, and now the only time I use a mic is after Darren's first false exit, when I say: "Do you guys want more Darren?" And then today, I found this ad online.
Marshall: "Ass Player Wanted"?
The Mother: Move your thumb.
Marshall: Oh, "Bass Player Wanted." Wait, he was gonna kick you out of your own band?
The Mother: Yeah. But instead... I quit.
Marshall: You quit? That's it? But it's your band, you must be avenged.
The Mother: Funny you should say that, because as I was leaving the hotel, I ran into someone.
Lily: You need to steal this douche-monkey's van.


 ‘Bass Player Wanted’ Quotes

Quote from The Mother

Marshall: Hey, thanks again for picking us up. It's been a crazy couple days. You can't imagine what we've been through.
The Mother: Wait, let me guess. You were visiting a relative? Maybe your mother? And I'm getting a Midwest vibe, somewhere like Wisconsin... [Marshall scoffs] No. Minnesota?
Marshall: Wow, you're, like, really good at this.
The Mother: You're planning an overseas trip with your wife. I'm seeing a feisty redhead who loves art. She just got a job in Europe. Maybe France? No. Italy? Total shot in the dark, but Rome?
Marshall: Maybe I'll just like... I'll get out right here.
The Mother: You're not going anywhere. No, I'm just messing with you. I rode the train with your wife. She told me all about you. You must be Marshall.

Quote from The Mother

Marshall: So, what did Darren do to you?
The Mother: Well, a few years ago, I started this band. You know, it was a goof. It was just me and a couple of dorks from business school. I'm actually embarrassed to tell you our name.
Marshall: I had an all-lawyer band called The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk.
The Mother: Oh, I now feel very safe talking about my band, Super Freakonomics.
Marshall: Nice.

Quote from Barney

Barney: You're moving to Chicago? Is that even a real place? It's a style of pizza. Ted, you can't live in a pizza.