Barney Quote #2023

Quote from Barney in The Rehearsal Dinner

Barney: Okay, I figured out how this is gonna go down. We're gonna "run out" of ice, and Robin's gonna ask me
to go get some, and lo and behold, the only place that sells ice in this whole town is right next to the local laser taggery. I go inside and... [gasp] Surprise! Beautiful dinner, family and friends, free game tokens and an off-road arcade game that's rigged for unlimited turbos!
Lily: Okay, that is the single stupidest...
Robin: Guys, you aren't gonna believe this. The ice machine is broken.
Barney: Is it now? Well, dog my cats, what are the chances?

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 ‘The Rehearsal Dinner’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: Why is it so cold in here? You trying to get me to talk or something?
Security Guard: Not really. In fact, if you could just sit there quietly...
Barney: Fine, I'll talk. It all started a few months ago, when I had the most awesome idea ever.
[flashback to a few months ago:]
Barney: Laser tag rehearsal dinner!
Ted: That might be the worst idea you've ever had, which is saying a lot.
Barney: Name one bad idea I've ever had.
Lily: Gluten-free edible panties.
Marshall: Hot dog on a stick on a bun.
Ted: Inflatable sex toy life raft.
Lily: The Breast Augmentation Channel.
Robin: Single malt scotch tape.
Marshall: The time you ran for mayor.
Barney: I still have 12,000 buttons that say, "The only poll I care about is in my pants."

Quote from Barney

Robin: I can't believe you did all of this. Hey, I thought you didn't like Canada.
Barney: Are you kidding? I love Canada. Holy musk ox, is that legendary Canadian doctor Frederick Banting? Whoa!
Frederick Banting: In 1924, I discovered insulin. Take that, diabetes.
Barney: Hey, look, it's Manitoba's native son, Norman Breakey.
Norman Breakey: You're welcome, world. Enjoy my invention, the paint roller.
Barney: And of course, you know Alan Thicke.
Alan Thicke: Hey, hey, you. You are the prettiest girl in the place.
Robin: Oh, thank you, Alan.
Barney: All right, all right, all right. Hey, look, it's Louise Poirier, who I think worked for the company that probably created Wonderbra.
Woman: [speaks French]
Robin: Okay, okay.
Barney: Canadians also helped win two World Wars. And gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes, and best of all, you.

Quote from Robin

Marshall: Where is this wedding gonna be, anyway?
Robin: You know, I thought it might be nice to get married in Canada. I mean, it's where I'm from, and... [all laugh] Okay. Let's have it. Get it over with, Get it all out of your system.
Barney: I'm the groom. I'm the groom, I might as well start. Canada? What, are we gonna walk down the aisle to Crash Test Dummies? Play's to Marshall.
Marshall: Canada? What are you gonna do, hire a regular dog sled or a stretch?
Ted: Canada? Are you registered at Tim Hortons?
Lily: Canada. Oh, does the organist play wearing mittens?
Marshall: Canada? How are you gonna slip the ring on the bride's finger If she's wearing mittens?
Robin: Two mitten jokes in a row? So... You're pretty much done, then?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, we weren't even close.