Barney Quote #2005
Quote from Barney in Bedtime Stories
[title: Mosby at the Bat]
Barney: Hold it. Let's not all go crazy like some wild berzerkers. What if this is just a business meal between co-workers?
Marshall: [v.o.] Ted thought back on past failed dates.
Ted: Oh, God, that could be true. How many times have I come home to find my balls are blue?
Barney: It all depends where Ted and his new fetching young Floridian are standing in relation to that puzzling meridian called "The International Date Line." That's right, new theory. "What's that," you ask?
Ted: Nobody did.
Barney: I'll now address your query! The date line is the border betwixt happiness and sorrow. On this side, you go home tonight. On this side, home tomorrow.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Bedtime Stories’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Marshall: Okay, I need a brand-new tale to silence Marvin's chatter.
Gus: I don't know, that last one had some sketchy subject matter. Forgive me, but before you got here, did you smoke a joint? You don't tell kids a tale that crass!
Future Ted: [v.o.] I guess he had a point.
Quote from Marshall
Gus: Oh, look a fireworks display. Some rockets red glare action.
Man: Thank God. Thought my glaucoma drops were causing a reaction.
Marshall: Marvin, I'm so sorry this whole journey's been a bummer. Soon you'll be right back in Mommy's arms, as warm as summer. But sadly while your troubles stop once we get to the inn the moment we arrive is when my troubles will begin. Sometimes daddies screw up, sometimes mommies get upset. I really hope this weekend is a memory you'll forget. So look up at those fireworks, enjoy the falling embers...
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that, kids, is the very first thing your cousin Marvin remembers.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall and Marvin were taking the bus on their way to Long Island to meet up with us.
Marshall: There, there, little Marvin. Let no more tears fall. We're gonna see Mommy in no time at all. Hello there. I'm sorry for all of the noise. It's been a long day for the Eriksen boys.
Gus: Uh, what's with the rhyming?
Marshall: I'm glad that you ask. To get my son sleeping is no easy task.
[flashback:]
Marshall: [v.o.] A few weeks ago, the job fell to my wife. And as the poor baby cried out for dear life, she read every book, but all were no use until she arrived at a mother named Goose.
Lily: Why, Marvin...
Marshall: [v.o.] She noted.
Lily: ..these rhymes make you tired!
[present:]
Marshall: And ever since then, all young Marvin's required is one book of rhymes, and to dream land he goes. Now, what shall we read? Oh, crap, I left his book in the car!
Marvin: [cries]
Gus: That blows.
[A lullaby version of the How I Met Your Mother theme song plays]