Barney Quote #2002

Quote from Barney in Mom and Dad

Barney: You said it was nuts to think that my mom and dad would get back together. But that's what happened for James. I've been dreaming of that since I was five. Well, that and my own operational Death Star. But mostly them getting back together. Why does James get it and I don't?
Robin: Well, think about it. You have me, your dad has Cheryl...
[meanwhile:]
Jerry: [two police officers] "So to summarize: I'm super dead, you should totally bone Loretta, and I never loved you. Cheryl." which is misspelled.
[back:]
Robin: ...but James is going through a divorce. He just lost his family. I-I know you've been dreaming of this, but maybe he needs "Mom and Dad" more than you.

Rate

 ‘Mom and Dad’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Jerry: [to police officers] She's been missing all day, and I found what appears to be a-a suicide note on my bed. But it doesn't really sound like her. "I'm going to kill my - wait for it - self."

Quote from James

James: That's completely insane. This is how it's gonna be.
[black-and-white musical fantasy scene:]
Loretta: [all singing] We're reunited and I'm feeling so glad
Sam: I'm so much sexier than Barney's dad [plays saxophone]
James: Back together, now our life's right on track
Barney: But she's banging my dad behind your dad's back
Jerry: When you're at work, I'm all over her rack
James: That's not true
Barney: Yes, it is
James: That's not funny
Barney: Mom, break the news
Loretta: Okay, we're screwin' like bunnies
Sam: I'll kick your ass
Jerry: I'd like to see you try
James: Well, my dad would win in a fight
Barney: No, my dad would win in a fight
James: No
Barney: Yeah

Quote from Barney

Barney: What do we do?
James: You back down and let me get my mom and dad back together?
Barney: Um, how about you back down and let me get my mom and dad back together? I can already picture it.
[black-and-white musical fantasy scene:]
Loretta: [all singing] We're reunited and we're going so strong
Jerry: My wife died parasailing and I've moved on
Both: And now our Barney-boy will always be near
Barney: I'll come to live with you and it won't be weird
Loretta: Of course not, Wuv-Wuv!
All: Back together and forever we'll be
Loretta: Mom
Jerry: And Dad
Barney: And Barney makes three
Jerry: We love you, champ!
Robin: And I'll live here, too, since we're married and I'm totally cool with it!