Marshall Quote #1145
Marshall: [on the phone] How did you do it?
Ted: I called in a "no questions asked" with Lily. Why didn't you? You must have a million.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And Marshall thought back.
[flashback to Marshall in a jail cell:]
Marshall: [on the phone] Hey, baby, it's me. Can you come bail me out of jail? I thought I saw a bigfoot in Central Park and so I tackled him, but it turned out to be Russell Brand.
[flashback to Marshall arriving home covered in scratches:]
Marshall: Hey. Oh, do you mind looking up our vaccination records? I tried to hug a raccoon.
[flashback to Marshall with a disassembled TV:]
Marshall: Hey, babe, um, could you dig up our warranty? I took the TV apart and I made a robot out of it.
[flashback to Marshall in a jail cell:]
Marshall: [on the phone] Hey, I tackled Russell Brand again.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Hey, good news. We're all set for the dove release.
Barney: When we leave the church, they're gonna release 100 doves. It's going to be avi-wait-for-it-ary. Aviary.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall had recently discovered that the Farhampton Inn was featured in an episode of The Ghost Network's original series True and Real Ghost Stories of the Supernatural.
Marshall: There, see? The Farhampton Inn. I told you it sounded familiar.
Narrator: In 1843, the streets of Farhampton, Long Island, were stalked by a vicious killer named Captain Blazeby Dearduff. Dubbed Dearduff the Hooker, he murdered dozens of unwary travelers with his sharpened hook. Ironically, that hook would prove Dearduff's own undoing one wintry night in Room 13 of the Farhampton Inn. He was found the next morning frozen to death.
Narrator: Some say you can still hear Captain Dearduff's cries coming from Room 13.
Captain Dearduff: Cold. So cold. Help me. Help me.
Man: We can see you, Ron.
Narrator: Some say you can still hear the thump of his peg and the scrape of his hook. Others say Dearduff the Hooker was just a popular male prostitute who murdered no one and died of syphilis in 1848. Let's hear from some people who have actually survived a night in Room 13.
Carrie Friedman: Did I see a ghost? [distorted] Of course. Yes. There are such things as ghosts.
Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)
Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]
Quote from Bagpipes
Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.