Ted Quote #1327

Quote from Ted in Last Time in New York

Lily: "Finally tell my upstairs neighbor how I've been feeling all this time."
Ted: Yeah.
[fantasy:]
Ted: Hi. Um, I live downstairs, and I've always wanted to say this to you... but I've never had the guts. And so here goes. [loudly] Are your shoes made of lead? Because you are the loudest upstairs neighbor in history. Oh, and you suck at the bongos, but, hey, heh, keep practicing. In the middle of the night before any important interview I've ever had.

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 ‘Last Time in New York’ Quotes

Quote from Robin

Robin: There's gotta be someplace to bang here.
Barney: I'm starving. I knew we should've hit the buffet...
Robin: [slaps Barney] Don't say "buffet." That attracts old people. Same goes for "coupon," "60 Minutes," and "Mandy Patinkin."
Barney: What? Robin, you're being paranoid. Old people don't magically sense it when you say "Mandy Patinkin." [echoing] Patinkin.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Hey, Ted?
Ted: Yeah?
Lily: You wrote down all these things to say goodbye to, but so many of them are good things. Why not just say goodbye to the bad things? Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost. To all the times it was a "no" instead of a "yes." To all the scrapes and bruises. To all the heartache. Say goodbye to everything you really want to do for the last time. But don't go have one last Scotch with Barney. Have the first Scotch toasting Barney's new life. Because that's a good thing... And the good things will always be here waiting for you. What?
Ted: Turn the page.
Lily: "Get one last life lecture from Lily." Well, you're dreaming if you think that's the last one of those.

 Ted Mosby Quotes

Quote from Intervention

[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Marshall: Encyclopaedia?
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.

Quote from We're Not From Here

Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!