Marshall Quote #1120
Daphne: Can I make a suggestion? I rent the car, then I go buy the car seat, come back here, pick you guys up, and then the three of us drive to New York together.
Marshall: [laughs quietly] Let me get this straight. So, you're gonna rent the car, go and get a baby seat for my son, and then drive all the way back here to pick me up.
Daphne: That's right.
Marshall: Well, then you're gonna need some cash here. Hundred bucks ought to cover it. So, we'll see you soon.
Daphne: You got it, Michael!
Daphne: Doesn't matter now, does it?
Marshall: Remember this day, Marvin. Not only is this the day that we either saw Prince or a really flamboyantly dressed greyhound, it's also the day that your dad chose not to be a jerk and put his trust in humanity. Just watch where it gets us. [later] Shucksy-doodles!
Quote from Ted
James: Okay, see you later, Ted.
Ted: You're not giving up, James. And neither am I.
[As James leaves, Ted returns to his crossword puzzle. The camera pans out to reveal The Mother sitting in the chair next to Ted, staring in the other direction. Ted then walks into the room and sits down at the table in another seat.]
Future Ted: Hey, beautiful.
The Mother: Hi.
Future Ted: God, you look great.
The Mother: What? Come on.
Future Ted: You do!
The Mother: I've been in a car all morning. I just ate a croissant crumb that I found in my bra. I'm disgusting.
Future Ted: Yeah, I saw you do that. And it was super hot. Come here.
The Mother: You come here. Come here.
Future Ted: No, you come here. Come here. Hey, you want to hear something funny? One year ago today, almost to the minute, I was sitting at this very table right in that seat.
The Mother: Oh, yeah. I can see it. Nursing your gin and tonic with three extra limes, doing the crossword, probably being all showboat-y about it.
Future Ted: I wasn't being showboat-y about it.
Ted: "Vesuvius". Boo-yah! Oh, wait, that doesn't fit.
Future Ted: The point is, one year ago today, I made a promise to myself right at this table.
The Mother: What was the promise?
Both Teds: I'm coming back, and I'm bringing you.
The Mother: Wait a second. Hold it. One year ago today, you hadn't even met me.
Future Ted: I know, but I knew I would. And now it's a year later.
The Mother: And here I am.
Future Ted: Here you are. Love in your eyes, baked goods in your undergarments.
The Mother: Yeah. You picked a real winner, Mosby.
Future Ted: I did. Okay, seriously, what the crap is taking so long with these rooms? It was like this last year. I'll be right back.
The Mother: I'll be right here.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Robin, I came to the desk to get this.
Robin: Is that the key to our room?
Barney: It's the key to James's room.
[When Barney and Robin enter James's room, there are rose petals on the bed, a banner reading "Love is Awesome", and a large life-size cake of a naked black man and a naked white man holding each other's asses:]
Robin: Oh, my. What is that?
Barney: It's an erotic cake. I wanted to surprise them for their anniversary.
Robin: Is that... Is that James and Tom?
Barney: Mmm, caramel marzipan, chocolate marzipan.
Robin: I love chocolate marzipan.
Barney: So does Tom. Used to anyway.
Robin: This is, uh, absolutely the, uh... the weirdest thing anyone has ever done for their sibling. I love you so much.
Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)
Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]
Quote from Bagpipes
Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.