Robin Quote #864
Robin: [answers phone] Hi, Grandma. You can explain how Cousin Mitch is related to us?
Barney: Explain, Grandma! Explain!
Robin: He married Barney's dad's cousin Renee, who he met selling Vachon cakes outside a curling bonspiel in Chicoutimi.
Barney: English, Grandma, English!
Robin: And on our side of the family, he was adopted because his real parents were eaten alive by their sled dogs? That's awesome! Thanks, Grandma. [chuckles]
Quote from Barney
Robin: Aw... Look at my little cousins in their flower-girl dresses.
Barney: Aw, they'll look so cute next to the ring bear.
Robin: Yeah. Wait, you said ring bearer, right?
Barney: [nods] Ring bear.
Robin: Ring bearer.
Barney: Ring bear.
Robin: Are you planning some crazy stunt with a dangerous wild animal at our wedding because...
Quote from The Mother
Lily: [inner monologue] No, I'm not looking. I don't need to see my child used against me. My sweet, beautiful child, who I haven't seen in a week. Whose head smells like love and unicorn teardrops and why are trains so Ionely? Damn it, I'm looking.
The Mother: Hey, are you okay? You look stressed. Plus, you muttered a few words out loud. I heard "Ionely" and "unicorn." Which actually gave me a great idea for a children's book, so thank you. Are you okay?
The Mother: But there's nothing you can do... You want a cookie?
Lily: Yes. Yes, I do.
The Mother: Wow. You just took a cookie from a complete stranger on a train. I like how trusting you are. There could be drugs or poison in there.
Lily: There's not, is there?
The Mother: No idea, I found them under my seat. Kidding! Sorry. You looked stressed so I thought you could use a cookie. Then I thought you could use a joke. I should've stopped at the cookie.
Lily: You know, I don't care if these are poisoned. There's chocolate and peanut butter and caramel in these sumbitches!
The Mother: I call them "Sumbitches!"
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's how Lily met your mother.
Quote from Glitter
Robin: Okay, fine, I'll watch it with you.
Robin: But if either of you makes even one peep about the show being dirty, I'm turning it off. I'm serious.
[on Space Teens:]
Robin Sparkles: Hey Jessica, how's your beaver?
[in the apartment, Ted and Barney spit take]
Jessica Glitter: Great. How's your beaver?
Robin Sparkles: Busy as ever!
[Ted and Barney stifle laughter]
Robin: Our characters had pet beavers.
Ted: [giggles] Sure.
Robin: The beaver is the official animal of Canada. It's our national mascot.
Barney: It's a noble creature.
Quote from Big Days
Robin: Well, I guess you just got to move on. I mean, it's not like you have a shot with Ready McGee over there, right? Ted?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Then I remembered. Cindy had a roommate. A roommate I only caught a glimpse of... But a roommate who, by every indication, was something very special. Was it possible? Could this be the girl attached to that ankle?
Ted: I got to see her ankles.
Robin: You're one of those? God, I swear, one in five guys...